1 00:00:03,933 --> 00:00:05,400 Kirsten: I FEEL LIKE I'M IN JAIL. 2 00:00:05,400 --> 00:00:08,533 [ CRYING ] 3 00:00:08,533 --> 00:00:11,567 ** 4 00:00:15,733 --> 00:00:17,500 Man: NOT FOR ONE MINUTE THAT I THOUGHT MY LIFE 5 00:00:17,500 --> 00:00:19,167 WOULD END UP LIKE THIS. 6 00:00:19,167 --> 00:00:20,633 OW! MY LEG! 7 00:00:20,633 --> 00:00:23,567 Ashley: I'M SO FAR GONE. 8 00:00:23,567 --> 00:00:26,733 Woman I ABSOLUTELY NEED HELP, 9 00:00:26,733 --> 00:00:30,333 OR I AM GONNA DIE. 10 00:00:33,400 --> 00:00:35,867 -I CAN'T DO THIS. -I'M RIGHT UNDER YOU. 11 00:00:35,867 --> 00:00:39,667 -[ Crying ] I NEED OVER! -YOU'RE FINE. YOU'RE FINE. 12 00:00:43,900 --> 00:00:45,700 Woman I FEEL LIKE I LET MY KIDS DOWN. 13 00:00:45,700 --> 00:00:47,400 INSTEAD OF ME TAKING CARE OF THEM, 14 00:00:47,400 --> 00:00:48,867 THEY'VE BEEN TAKING CARE OF ME. 15 00:00:48,867 --> 00:00:53,000 IT'S YOU -- YOU ARE THE ONE KILLING HIM. 16 00:00:55,400 --> 00:00:56,533 Kirsten: [ GROANS ] 17 00:00:56,533 --> 00:00:59,233 I JUST WANT TO GO TO SLEEP AND NOT WAKE UP. 18 00:00:59,233 --> 00:01:03,700 WE NEED TO PROTECT KIRSTEN AGAINST HERSELF. 19 00:01:03,700 --> 00:01:06,700 -- Captions by VITAC -- www.vitac.com 20 00:01:06,700 --> 00:01:09,733 CAPTIONS PAID FOR BY DISCOVERY COMMUNICATIONS 21 00:01:11,233 --> 00:01:14,567 Kirsten: WHEN YOU LET YOUR LIFE GET COMPLETELY OUT OF CONTROL, 22 00:01:14,567 --> 00:01:17,567 SOMETIMES THE BEST WAY TO GET THAT CONTROL BACK 23 00:01:17,567 --> 00:01:19,733 IS TO GIVE IT UP. 24 00:01:32,467 --> 00:01:35,433 [ YAWNS ] 25 00:01:40,733 --> 00:01:42,567 I DREAD WAKING UP. 26 00:01:47,567 --> 00:01:51,433 I BARELY CAN GET UP OUT OF BED. 27 00:01:54,967 --> 00:01:57,833 I FLOP AND FLIP AND PUSH MYSELF WITH MY CANE, 28 00:01:57,833 --> 00:02:00,800 BECAUSE IT'S TOO HARD ON MY SHOULDERS ANYMORE 29 00:02:00,800 --> 00:02:02,500 TO DO IT WITH MY ARMS. 30 00:02:03,433 --> 00:02:05,600 MOM? Cris: YEP. 31 00:02:05,600 --> 00:02:07,233 COULD YOU GET THE SHOWER READY FOR ME, MOM? 32 00:02:07,233 --> 00:02:09,833 SURE. THANK YOU. 33 00:02:09,833 --> 00:02:12,400 ** 34 00:02:12,400 --> 00:02:15,933 I FEEL LIKE I'M IN JAIL. 35 00:02:15,933 --> 00:02:18,300 I'M A PRISONER IN THIS FAT. 36 00:02:18,300 --> 00:02:21,233 I'M A PRISONER OF WHAT I'VE DONE TO MYSELF. 37 00:02:21,233 --> 00:02:23,300 OKAY, KIRSTEN, I'M SET FOR YOU. 38 00:02:23,300 --> 00:02:24,333 OKAY. 39 00:02:25,633 --> 00:02:27,700 [ GRUNTS ] 40 00:02:27,700 --> 00:02:30,200 Kirsten: I DREAD EVERYTHING ABOUT TAKING A SHOWER, 41 00:02:30,200 --> 00:02:35,333 BECAUSE IT HURTS SO BAD JUST TO GET UP. 42 00:02:35,333 --> 00:02:37,067 BOTH OF MY HIP JOINTS ARE GONE. 43 00:02:37,067 --> 00:02:38,967 IT'S BONE ON BONE. 44 00:02:38,967 --> 00:02:41,100 MY KNEES ARE GOING THE SAME WAY. 45 00:02:41,100 --> 00:02:43,500 I'M COMPLETELY MISERABLE EVERY DAY, 46 00:02:43,500 --> 00:02:47,067 EVERY MOMENT OF EVERY MINUTE OF EVERY SECOND. 47 00:02:49,100 --> 00:02:51,633 I FEEL LIKE MY HEART'S EXPLODING, ALMOST, INSIDE, 48 00:02:51,633 --> 00:02:54,200 LIKE, I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA HAVE A HEART ATTACK. 49 00:02:57,667 --> 00:02:59,900 I'M BATHING LESS AND LESS, 50 00:02:59,900 --> 00:03:02,600 BECAUSE I'M SCARED I'M GONNA FALL. 51 00:03:02,600 --> 00:03:05,900 IT'S JUST SO MUCH OF A HASSLE AND IT HURTS TO DO IT, 52 00:03:05,900 --> 00:03:09,067 AND I CAN'T STAND FOR VERY LONG. 53 00:03:09,067 --> 00:03:10,433 IT'S SO HORRIBLE. 54 00:03:10,433 --> 00:03:12,067 GEEZ! MOM! 55 00:03:12,067 --> 00:03:13,900 Cris: I'M COMING. 56 00:03:13,900 --> 00:03:15,367 [ CRIES ] 57 00:03:18,067 --> 00:03:19,367 JUST A MINUTE. 58 00:03:19,367 --> 00:03:20,833 [ Crying ] MOM! I'M COMING, HONEY. 59 00:03:20,833 --> 00:03:23,067 [ CRIES ] 60 00:03:23,067 --> 00:03:24,067 IT'S ALL RIGHT. 61 00:03:26,200 --> 00:03:27,300 YOU CAN'T SEE WHAT? 62 00:03:27,300 --> 00:03:28,900 THE BENCH! MOM, THE BENCH! 63 00:03:28,900 --> 00:03:31,133 OKAY, YOU'RE FINE. IT'S RIGHT UNDER YOU. 64 00:03:31,133 --> 00:03:33,433 I NEED IT OVER! OVER WHICH WAY? THIS WAY. 65 00:03:33,433 --> 00:03:34,967 SIT DOWN. YOU'RE FINE. 66 00:03:34,967 --> 00:03:36,200 YOU'RE FINE. THANK YOU. 67 00:03:36,200 --> 00:03:37,867 YOU GOOD NOW? JUST TAKE A BREATH. 68 00:03:39,800 --> 00:03:44,567 I HATE EVERYTHING ABOUT SHOWERING. 69 00:03:44,567 --> 00:03:45,833 IT'S HARD TO GET THE WATER 70 00:03:45,833 --> 00:03:47,767 IN PLACES WHERE YOU NEED TO GET IT WET 71 00:03:47,767 --> 00:03:49,100 SO YOU DON'T STINK. 72 00:03:52,067 --> 00:03:54,100 Cris: BASICALLY, ALMOST EVERYTHING, 73 00:03:54,100 --> 00:03:56,533 KIRSTEN HAS TO HAVE SOME KIND OF HELP WITH. 74 00:03:56,533 --> 00:04:01,533 SHE'S MISSING OUT ON ALMOST EVERYTHING IN LIFE, 75 00:04:01,533 --> 00:04:04,100 AND I'M AFRAID THAT HER BODY'S 76 00:04:04,100 --> 00:04:06,100 GONNA GIVE OUT ON HER EVENTUALLY. 77 00:04:06,100 --> 00:04:07,600 OKAY. 78 00:04:07,600 --> 00:04:09,467 OKAY, JUST GO SIT DOWN ON THE BENCH. 79 00:04:09,467 --> 00:04:12,167 [ Crying ] I DON'T WANT TO! 80 00:04:12,167 --> 00:04:13,900 [ SNIFFLES ] 81 00:04:13,900 --> 00:04:15,400 Kirsten: [ Voice breaking ] I JUST GET FRUSTRATED 82 00:04:15,400 --> 00:04:16,467 AND MAD AT MYSELF 83 00:04:16,467 --> 00:04:18,533 I FEEL LIKE I START FREAKING OUT. 84 00:04:20,733 --> 00:04:21,767 YOU'RE ALL RIGHT. 85 00:04:21,767 --> 00:04:23,067 NO, YOU DON'T. JUST GET UP. 86 00:04:23,067 --> 00:04:24,500 [ CRIES ] 87 00:04:24,500 --> 00:04:26,533 Kirsten: I GET TO THE POINT WHERE I DON'T WANT TO DO ANYTHING, 88 00:04:26,533 --> 00:04:28,733 BECAUSE IT'S JUST TOO HARD TO KEEP DOING IT. 89 00:04:28,733 --> 00:04:31,233 COME ON. YOU'RE FINE. 90 00:04:31,233 --> 00:04:33,267 I'M JUST SCARED I'M GONNA FALL. 91 00:04:33,267 --> 00:04:34,767 YOU DON'T HAVE FAR TO GO. 92 00:04:34,767 --> 00:04:36,367 JUST SIT ON THE END OF YOUR BED MAYBE. 93 00:04:38,533 --> 00:04:40,733 [ Normal voice ] NEVER IN A THOUSAND YEARS 94 00:04:40,733 --> 00:04:43,967 DID I THINK THAT I WOULD BECOME THIS. 95 00:04:43,967 --> 00:04:45,400 OKAY. YOU'RE GOOD. 96 00:04:45,400 --> 00:04:49,133 [ PANTING, WHEEZING ] 97 00:04:49,133 --> 00:04:51,867 I GET THESE THINGS ON MY LEGS. 98 00:04:51,867 --> 00:04:53,067 IT HANGS DOWN. 99 00:04:53,067 --> 00:04:54,767 I CAN'T EVEN GET MY FINGER BEHIND MY LEG 100 00:04:54,767 --> 00:04:55,900 TO CLEAN IT ANYMORE. 101 00:04:55,900 --> 00:04:57,733 MY MOM HAS TO DO IT. 102 00:04:57,733 --> 00:05:01,667 I HATE MY HERNIA THAT STICKS OUT SO BIG. 103 00:05:01,667 --> 00:05:04,067 IT'S JUST UGLY AND GROSS. 104 00:05:04,067 --> 00:05:05,433 [ Voice breaking ] I DON'T WANT TO BE THAT PERSON 105 00:05:05,433 --> 00:05:06,767 THAT DOESN'T TAKE CARE OF THEMSELVES. 106 00:05:06,767 --> 00:05:09,767 I WAS NEVER THAT PERSON, AND NOW I'VE BECOME THAT PERSON. 107 00:05:13,267 --> 00:05:16,367 ** 108 00:05:16,367 --> 00:05:18,833 [ Normal voice ] AS A SMALL CHILD, I WAS NORMAL, 109 00:05:18,833 --> 00:05:19,900 AND I LOOKED LIKE 110 00:05:19,900 --> 00:05:22,733 EVERY OTHER KID IN THE CLASSROOM. 111 00:05:22,733 --> 00:05:25,567 ON THE OUTSIDE I WAS NORMAL, 112 00:05:25,567 --> 00:05:29,167 BUT INSIDE I FELT UNWANTED. 113 00:05:29,167 --> 00:05:34,100 I AM THE OLDEST CHILD OUT OF ME AND MY BROTHER, 114 00:05:34,100 --> 00:05:35,833 AND WHEN I WAS GROWING UP, 115 00:05:35,833 --> 00:05:37,367 I JUST FELT LIKE 116 00:05:37,367 --> 00:05:39,200 MY PARENTS LIKED HIM BETTER THAN THEY LIKED ME. 117 00:05:39,200 --> 00:05:41,600 HE WAS ALWAYS SMARTER THAN ME 118 00:05:41,600 --> 00:05:44,800 AND NEVER GOT IN TROUBLE LIKE I DID. 119 00:05:44,800 --> 00:05:46,567 I NEVER DID ANYTHING GOOD ENOUGH FOR MY DAD. 120 00:05:46,567 --> 00:05:47,900 I NEVER DID. 121 00:05:47,900 --> 00:05:51,300 MY DAD'S REALLY CRITICAL OF EVERYTHING. 122 00:05:51,300 --> 00:05:53,767 Kurt: I WAS PROBABLY THE STRICT ONE WITH KIRSTEN, 123 00:05:53,767 --> 00:05:55,800 AND I DON'T KNOW THAT WE REALLY HAVE 124 00:05:55,800 --> 00:05:57,233 A REALLY GOOD RELATIONSHIP, 125 00:05:57,233 --> 00:05:59,367 BECAUSE I'VE ALWAYS VOICED MY OPINION, 126 00:05:59,367 --> 00:06:01,767 AND THAT KIND OF DOESN'T SET WELL WITH HER. 127 00:06:01,767 --> 00:06:04,900 Kirsten: NOTHING I COULD DO WAS EVER RIGHT. 128 00:06:04,900 --> 00:06:06,933 NOTHING WAS EVER GOOD ENOUGH. 129 00:06:06,933 --> 00:06:09,067 AND HOW I DEALT WITH THAT REJECTION WAS, 130 00:06:09,067 --> 00:06:11,533 I WOULD GO TO FOOD, BECAUSE IT MADE ME FEEL BETTER. 131 00:06:13,200 --> 00:06:15,867 Cris: KIRSTEN WAS AROUND 14 YEARS OLD 132 00:06:15,867 --> 00:06:19,067 WHEN SHE STARTED TO PUT ON MORE WEIGHT THAN SHE SHOULD, 133 00:06:19,067 --> 00:06:22,067 AND, UM, DOING THINGS SHE SHOULDN'T. 134 00:06:22,067 --> 00:06:25,500 Kirsten: AS MUCH AS I FOUND COMFORT IN FOOD, 135 00:06:25,500 --> 00:06:29,267 IT WAS JUST THE BEGINNING OF MY ADDICTIONS. 136 00:06:29,267 --> 00:06:32,733 I WAS DOING DRUGS AND SMOKING A LOT OF POT, 137 00:06:32,733 --> 00:06:36,567 A LOT OF ACID, METH HERE AND THERE, 138 00:06:36,567 --> 00:06:41,167 BUT I STILL DIDN'T SLOW DOWN MY EATING. 139 00:06:41,167 --> 00:06:43,367 WHEN I WAS 15 IS WHEN I STARTED 140 00:06:43,367 --> 00:06:47,467 TO REALLY PUT ON THE WEIGHT, I GUESS. 141 00:06:47,467 --> 00:06:50,700 EVERYBODY ELSE WAS LIKE 120 POUNDS, AND I WAS LIKE 170. 142 00:06:52,733 --> 00:06:54,400 AND MY FATHER DIDN'T HESITATE 143 00:06:54,400 --> 00:06:58,067 TO POINT OUT THAT I GAINING SO MUCH WEIGHT, 144 00:06:58,067 --> 00:07:00,767 WHICH MADE ME FEEL EVEN MORE REJECTED, 145 00:07:00,767 --> 00:07:03,300 AND I'D RUN TO DRUGS AND FOOD, 146 00:07:03,300 --> 00:07:06,867 AND MY FAMILY DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO DEAL WITH IT. 147 00:07:06,867 --> 00:07:10,233 Cris: ONCE WE REALIZED SHE WASN'T GONNA FINISH HIGH SCHOOL, 148 00:07:10,233 --> 00:07:12,433 AND SHE WAS 17, 149 00:07:12,433 --> 00:07:14,700 SHE WAS PRETTY MUCH WAS GOING OUT ON HER OWN. 150 00:07:14,700 --> 00:07:16,700 SHE JUST HAD LEFT US. 151 00:07:16,700 --> 00:07:21,067 Kirsten: I FELT LIKE MY FAMILY DIDN'T WANT ME AROUND ANYMORE, 152 00:07:21,067 --> 00:07:24,333 BUT WHEN I LEFT, THINGS GOT WORSE. 153 00:07:27,300 --> 00:07:31,567 RIGHT BEFORE I TURNED 18, I WAS GANG-RAPED AT A PARTY. 154 00:07:31,567 --> 00:07:32,733 WE WERE DRINKING, 155 00:07:32,733 --> 00:07:35,300 AND IT WAS THE FIRST TIME I EVER USED COCAINE. 156 00:07:35,300 --> 00:07:36,733 I DON'T REALLY REMEMBER A LOT, 157 00:07:36,733 --> 00:07:38,867 BUT MULTIPLE GUYS TOOK TURNS. 158 00:07:39,733 --> 00:07:43,433 AND AFTER THAT'S WHEN I STARTED NOT CARING ABOUT A LOT OF STUFF, 159 00:07:43,433 --> 00:07:44,833 AND I KEPT EATING, 160 00:07:44,833 --> 00:07:47,233 AND MAYBE I ATE BECAUSE I WAS HOPING 161 00:07:47,233 --> 00:07:49,500 TO JUST KEEP PEOPLE AWAY FROM ME. 162 00:07:49,500 --> 00:07:50,967 I DON'T KNOW. 163 00:07:50,967 --> 00:07:54,833 I GOT DEEPER INTO DRUGS, AS WELL, 164 00:07:54,833 --> 00:07:57,967 AND I STARTED LIVING WITH DRUG DEALERS, 165 00:07:57,967 --> 00:08:00,967 TRADING MY BODY FOR WHATEVER I COULD GET. 166 00:08:00,967 --> 00:08:05,700 AND THAT'S HOW I GOT PREGNANT THE FIRST TIME. 167 00:08:05,700 --> 00:08:10,433 AND I NEVER KNEW WHO LEXIE'S FATHER WAS. 168 00:08:10,433 --> 00:08:13,967 I WAS JUST DEPRESSED, SO I JUST ATE, 169 00:08:13,967 --> 00:08:15,967 AND IN MY EARLY 20s, 170 00:08:15,967 --> 00:08:19,067 I STARTED PUTTING ON A LOT OF WEIGHT. 171 00:08:19,067 --> 00:08:21,867 I WAS OVER 300 POUNDS. 172 00:08:21,867 --> 00:08:25,133 IT FELT LIKE I COULDN'T ESCAPE MY LIFE. 173 00:08:25,133 --> 00:08:30,667 AND I GOT PREGNANT AGAIN, AND I HAD MY SON, NEIKO. 174 00:08:30,667 --> 00:08:33,267 EVERYTHING WAS REALLY OUT OF CONTROL FOR ME, 175 00:08:33,267 --> 00:08:35,200 AND I COULDN'T GIVE MY KIDS 176 00:08:35,200 --> 00:08:40,667 WHAT I KNEW THAT THEY DESERVED AND NEEDED, 177 00:08:40,667 --> 00:08:42,467 SO I LET MY MOM AND DAD TAKE THEM, 178 00:08:42,467 --> 00:08:45,900 BECAUSE I COULDN'T TAKE CARE OF THEM ANYMORE. 179 00:08:49,733 --> 00:08:51,700 AND MY PARENTS HAVE BEEN RAISING THEM 180 00:08:51,700 --> 00:08:55,567 FOR THE LAST 10 YEARS. 181 00:08:55,567 --> 00:08:59,100 Neiko: GROWING UP, I DIDN'T REALLY GET TO SEE MY MOM THAT MUCH, 182 00:08:59,100 --> 00:09:01,700 BECAUSE SHE WAS DOING, LIKE, DRUGS AND STUFF, 183 00:09:01,700 --> 00:09:04,067 AND SHE DIDN'T WANT ME TO BE AROUND THAT. 184 00:09:04,067 --> 00:09:07,100 SHE KNEW IT'D BE PROBABLY BEST FOR ME AND NEIKO 185 00:09:07,100 --> 00:09:09,533 TO STAY HERE WITH OUR GRANDPARENTS. 186 00:09:09,533 --> 00:09:12,200 Kirsten: I DID WHAT I WANTED TO DO 187 00:09:12,200 --> 00:09:14,067 AND I WAS RUNNING AROUND, 188 00:09:14,067 --> 00:09:17,733 AND I WAS STILL EATING A TON AND DOING DRUGS, 189 00:09:17,733 --> 00:09:19,800 AND MY WEIGHT WAS OUT OF CONTROL. 190 00:09:19,800 --> 00:09:25,933 WHEN I WAS IN MY 30s, I WAS OVER 500 POUNDS, 191 00:09:25,933 --> 00:09:29,067 AND THEN THE PERSON I WAS LIVING WITH 192 00:09:29,067 --> 00:09:32,167 THAT WAS GIVING ME ALL MY DRUGS GOT ARRESTED, 193 00:09:32,167 --> 00:09:34,567 AND SUDDENLY, I HAD TO GET CLEAN 194 00:09:34,567 --> 00:09:36,433 AND FIND SOMEWHERE TO LIVE, 195 00:09:36,433 --> 00:09:41,867 SO MY PARENTS TOOK ME IN BECAUSE I HAD NOWHERE TO GO, 196 00:09:41,867 --> 00:09:44,100 AND I COULD NOT TAKE CARE OF MYSELF. 197 00:09:46,733 --> 00:09:49,967 I'VE BEEN LIVING WITH MY PARENTS FOR EIGHT MONTHS NOW, 198 00:09:49,967 --> 00:09:52,800 WITH MY DAUGHTER AND HER BOYFRIEND, 199 00:09:52,800 --> 00:09:57,700 AND ME AND MY 14-YEAR-OLD SON HAVE TO SHARE A BEDROOM. 200 00:09:57,700 --> 00:10:01,700 THE WHOLE TIME I'VE BEEN HERE, I'VE BEEN COMPLETELY CLEAN. 201 00:10:01,700 --> 00:10:05,067 BUT FOOD IS SOMETHING I CAN'T ESCAPE. 202 00:10:05,067 --> 00:10:06,667 I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WEIGH. 203 00:10:06,667 --> 00:10:08,500 ALL I KNOW IS THAT I'M SO BIG, 204 00:10:08,500 --> 00:10:11,067 I CAN'T TAKE CARE OF MYSELF ANYMORE. 205 00:10:11,067 --> 00:10:14,533 MOM, CAN I GET SOME BREAKFAST? 206 00:10:14,533 --> 00:10:16,333 Cris: OKAY. 207 00:10:16,333 --> 00:10:18,267 MY FAMILY DOES EVERYTHING FOR ME IN EVERYDAY LIFE -- 208 00:10:18,267 --> 00:10:19,300 EVERYTHING. 209 00:10:21,167 --> 00:10:23,433 MY MOM GETS MY FOOD READY, 210 00:10:23,433 --> 00:10:25,400 SHE WASHES MY CLOTHES, 211 00:10:25,400 --> 00:10:27,867 AND AT TIMES, SHE HAS TO HELP ME WIPE MY BUTT. 212 00:10:27,867 --> 00:10:29,833 I'M AN INVALID. 213 00:10:29,833 --> 00:10:31,633 THANK YOU. 214 00:10:31,633 --> 00:10:32,867 NEED ANYTHING, JUST HOLLER. 215 00:10:32,867 --> 00:10:34,333 OKAY. 216 00:10:34,333 --> 00:10:36,633 Cris: I'VE BEEN TRYING TO LIMIT WHAT SHE GETS, 217 00:10:36,633 --> 00:10:40,067 BUT SHE WANTS TO EAT EVERY HOUR, 218 00:10:40,067 --> 00:10:41,400 AND I THINK SOMETIMES 219 00:10:41,400 --> 00:10:44,067 SHE EATS SO MUCH IT MAKES HER KIND OF SICK. 220 00:10:45,200 --> 00:10:48,633 Kirsten: I FEEL LIKE I'M EATING ALL THE TIME. 221 00:10:48,633 --> 00:10:51,267 I'M EATING WHEN I'M HAPPY, I'M EATING WHEN I'M SAD, 222 00:10:51,267 --> 00:10:53,767 I'M EATING WHEN I'M UPSET, I'M EATING WHEN I'M BORED. 223 00:10:53,767 --> 00:10:56,167 I THINK THAT FOOD IS FILLING A VOID -- 224 00:10:56,167 --> 00:10:59,300 LIKE, THAT'S THE ONLY THING I HAVE LEFT, I FEEL LIKE. 225 00:10:59,300 --> 00:11:01,667 MY FRIENDS ARE GONE, THE DRUGS ARE GONE. 226 00:11:01,667 --> 00:11:04,333 ALL I HAVE IS THIS FOOD LEFT. 227 00:11:04,333 --> 00:11:06,900 I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT I AM WITHOUT IT. 228 00:11:08,133 --> 00:11:10,100 [ EXHALES SHARPLY ] 229 00:11:10,100 --> 00:11:12,867 [ GRUNTS ] 230 00:11:12,867 --> 00:11:15,800 [ PANTING, WHEEZING ] 231 00:11:15,800 --> 00:11:18,067 Cris: KIRSTEN CAN'T HARDLY GET AROUND, 232 00:11:18,067 --> 00:11:20,333 BUT SHE CAN CERTAINLY MAKE IT INTO THE KITCHEN 233 00:11:20,333 --> 00:11:22,200 TO GET INTO FOOD AT TIMES. 234 00:11:23,067 --> 00:11:25,600 Kirsten: I FEEL LIKE I HAD TO DO SNEAKY EATING, 235 00:11:25,600 --> 00:11:28,700 BECAUSE I KNOW THAT I SHOULDN'T BE DOING IT, 236 00:11:28,700 --> 00:11:31,933 AND I KNOW I'M GETTING FATTER AND FATTER FROM IT. 237 00:11:31,933 --> 00:11:33,800 [ Voice breaking ] BUT IT MAKES ME FEEL BETTER 238 00:11:33,800 --> 00:11:34,967 FOR A LITTLE WHILE. 239 00:11:34,967 --> 00:11:36,067 [ SNIFFLES ] 240 00:11:38,133 --> 00:11:40,200 Neiko: I'VE CAUGHT MY MOM SNEAKING FOOD, 241 00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:43,100 BUT SHE SAID IT WAS HER CHEAT DAY, 242 00:11:43,100 --> 00:11:45,900 BUT IT SEEMS LIKE EVERY DAY IS HER CHEAT DAY. 243 00:11:45,900 --> 00:11:48,067 [ PANTING, WHEEZING ] 244 00:11:48,067 --> 00:11:52,233 SOMETIMES MY MOM WANTS ME TO BRING EXTRA FOOD 245 00:11:52,233 --> 00:11:55,233 INTO THE ROOM WITHOUT MY GRANDMA KNOWING. 246 00:11:55,233 --> 00:11:59,500 AND I USUALLY TELL HER NO, AND THEN SHE TRIES TO BRIBE ME, 247 00:11:59,500 --> 00:12:02,833 OR SHE'LL GET MAD. 248 00:12:04,833 --> 00:12:07,533 Kirsten: [ Normal voice ] I HATE THE FACT THAT ME AND MY SON SHARE A ROOM, 249 00:12:07,533 --> 00:12:10,067 BUT AT THE SAME TIME, I LOVE IT, 250 00:12:10,067 --> 00:12:14,300 BECAUSE I'VE MISSED OUT ON SO MUCH OF HIS GROWING UP STUFF. 251 00:12:15,567 --> 00:12:16,967 [ LAUGHS ] 252 00:12:16,967 --> 00:12:19,067 THAT LOOKS GROSS. YEAH. 253 00:12:19,067 --> 00:12:20,100 Neiko: I CAN'T TALK TO MY MOM 254 00:12:20,100 --> 00:12:23,567 ABOUT HER FOOD AND HER EATING PORTIONS, 255 00:12:23,567 --> 00:12:26,933 OR SHE'LL GET REALLY, REALLY OFFENDED. 256 00:12:26,933 --> 00:12:28,500 YOU WANT SOME? 257 00:12:28,500 --> 00:12:30,833 SO I JUST GIVE HER WHAT SHE WANTS 258 00:12:30,833 --> 00:12:32,100 SO WE DON'T FIGHT, 259 00:12:32,100 --> 00:12:33,800 BECAUSE WE HAVE TO LIVE TOGETHER. 260 00:12:35,667 --> 00:12:36,933 YEAH. 261 00:12:36,933 --> 00:12:39,233 AND PUT THIS IN THE GARBAGE AND THROW THIS IN THE SINK. 262 00:12:39,233 --> 00:12:41,733 SHE'S BASICALLY JUST BED-BOUND. 263 00:12:42,833 --> 00:12:46,100 EVERY DAY, SHE'S DOING LESS AND LESS. 264 00:12:46,100 --> 00:12:51,200 AND I'M WORRIED THAT ONE DAY, SHE'S GONNA STOP GETTING UP... 265 00:12:51,200 --> 00:12:53,167 AND THEN JUST DIE. 266 00:12:53,167 --> 00:12:57,633 ** 267 00:12:57,633 --> 00:13:00,167 THERE'S A GARAGE SALE I WANT TO CHECK OUT. 268 00:13:00,167 --> 00:13:01,900 YOU WANT TO GO? YEAH. 269 00:13:01,900 --> 00:13:03,200 NEIKO? 270 00:13:03,200 --> 00:13:04,200 WHAT? 271 00:13:04,200 --> 00:13:05,767 BRING ME MY CANE. 272 00:13:05,767 --> 00:13:07,867 Kirsten: I HARDLY GET OUT OF THE HOUSE, 273 00:13:07,867 --> 00:13:09,333 BECAUSE IT JUST HURTS TO MOVE. 274 00:13:09,333 --> 00:13:10,467 OKAY. 275 00:13:12,167 --> 00:13:15,133 BUT SOMETIMES I GET STIR-CRAZY, 276 00:13:15,133 --> 00:13:17,900 SO I PUSH MYSELF AND TRY TO GET OUT. 277 00:13:21,533 --> 00:13:24,700 I HAVE NOT BEEN OUT OF THE HOUSE 278 00:13:24,700 --> 00:13:28,067 SINCE THE BEGINNING OF THIS MONTH. 279 00:13:28,067 --> 00:13:30,867 WALKING OUT TO THE CAR SHOULD BE, LIKE, TWO SECONDS, 280 00:13:30,867 --> 00:13:32,867 BUT IT TAKES ME, LIKE, 10 MINUTES. 281 00:13:32,867 --> 00:13:37,833 [ PANTING, WHEEZING ] 282 00:13:43,500 --> 00:13:46,700 Kirsten: [ GRUNTING ] 283 00:13:46,700 --> 00:13:49,167 LET ME HELP YOU WITH THAT. 284 00:13:49,167 --> 00:13:51,133 YOU'RE ALL RIGHT. WE'LL GET YOU. 285 00:13:51,133 --> 00:13:52,733 [ Crying ] I CAN'T DO IT! OKAY, OKAY. 286 00:13:52,733 --> 00:13:54,933 DO YOU NEED IT BACK FURTHER? 287 00:13:54,933 --> 00:13:56,433 JUST SHUT THE DOOR. 288 00:13:56,433 --> 00:13:58,167 OKAY, OKAY, OKAY. 289 00:13:58,167 --> 00:13:59,700 READY? [ CRIES ] 290 00:13:59,700 --> 00:14:01,767 OH. I KNOW I CAN'T FIT. 291 00:14:01,767 --> 00:14:03,833 OKAY, PUT YOUR LEG -- CAN YOU MOVE OVER JUST -- 292 00:14:03,833 --> 00:14:07,067 I CAN'T! I CAN'T DO IT. 293 00:14:07,067 --> 00:14:09,533 YOU WANT ME TO TRY IT AGAIN? I CAN'T, HONEY. 294 00:14:09,533 --> 00:14:13,467 I CAN'T DO IT. JUST, I CAN'T. 295 00:14:13,467 --> 00:14:16,100 IT'S NOT WORKING. 296 00:14:16,100 --> 00:14:19,067 [ GRUNTING, CRYING ] 297 00:14:19,067 --> 00:14:21,733 I JUST WANT TO GO BACK INSIDE. 298 00:14:23,433 --> 00:14:24,933 [ CRIES ] 299 00:14:24,933 --> 00:14:27,733 Cris: IF KIRSTEN DOESN'T TAKE SOME DRAMATIC STEPS 300 00:14:27,733 --> 00:14:29,800 TO CHANGE HER EATING, 301 00:14:29,800 --> 00:14:33,233 SHE'S GONNA LOSE HER MOBILITY AND BE BED-BOUND. 302 00:14:33,233 --> 00:14:36,200 CAN YOU MAKE IT? 303 00:14:36,200 --> 00:14:39,733 Kirsten: THIS HAS NEVER HAPPENED BEFORE. 304 00:14:39,733 --> 00:14:42,133 I'VE NEVER BEEN SO BIG THAT I COULDN'T FIT IN A CAR. 305 00:14:42,133 --> 00:14:44,700 Cris: IF I CAN'T GET THAT DOOR SHUT, 306 00:14:44,700 --> 00:14:46,400 I DON'T KNOW WHAT WE'RE GONNA DO. 307 00:14:47,433 --> 00:14:49,800 I'M GONNA REALLY HAVE A HARD TIME 308 00:14:49,800 --> 00:14:53,567 TRYING TO GET HER OUT OF THIS HOUSE. 309 00:14:53,567 --> 00:14:58,900 Kirsten: LOSING MY MOBILITY IS A DEATH SENTENCE... 310 00:14:58,900 --> 00:15:00,433 [ Voice breaking ]...BECAUSE I KNOW IF I LOSE MY MOBILITY, 311 00:15:00,433 --> 00:15:02,633 I'M NOT GETTING BACK OUT OF THIS BED. 312 00:15:02,633 --> 00:15:05,667 I'LL DIE IN THIS BED. 313 00:15:05,667 --> 00:15:09,400 [ Normal voice ] BUT I CAN'T STOP EATING. 314 00:15:09,400 --> 00:15:11,633 AND, NO MATTER HOW BAD IT GETS, 315 00:15:11,633 --> 00:15:14,467 I FEEL LIKE THE ONLY THING I LOOK FORWARD TO 316 00:15:14,467 --> 00:15:15,567 IS MY NEXT MEAL. 317 00:15:15,567 --> 00:15:18,267 Lexie: MOM, PIZZA'S HERE. 318 00:15:18,267 --> 00:15:21,400 FOOD IS WORSE THAN DRUGS TO ME RIGHT NOW. 319 00:15:21,400 --> 00:15:25,067 I HAD MORE CONTROL OVER THE LAST 10 YEARS OF MY DRUG USE 320 00:15:25,067 --> 00:15:27,267 THAN I DO OVER MY FOOD ADDICTION. 321 00:15:28,700 --> 00:15:31,100 I'M AT THE POINT 322 00:15:31,100 --> 00:15:34,833 THAT I'M NOT ABLE TO FUNCTION BARELY AT ALL ANYMORE. 323 00:15:34,833 --> 00:15:36,867 MOM, CAN YOU GET MINE FOR ME? 324 00:15:36,867 --> 00:15:39,633 Lexie: MY MOM'S WEIGHT IS OUT OF CONTROL, 325 00:15:39,633 --> 00:15:42,133 AND IT'S HARD FOR ME TO SEE 326 00:15:42,133 --> 00:15:46,433 THAT SHE CAN'T WALK AND DO THINGS ON HER OWN 327 00:15:46,433 --> 00:15:50,433 LIKE A NORMAL PERSON SHOULD BE ABLE TO DO. 328 00:15:50,433 --> 00:15:53,167 DO YOU WANT SOME POP? YES, PLEASE. 329 00:15:53,167 --> 00:15:54,600 THANK YOU. 330 00:15:57,567 --> 00:15:59,433 Kirsten: FOOD IS SO IMPORTANT, 331 00:15:59,433 --> 00:16:02,067 I'M JUST HAPPY EATING WHATEVER'S IN FRONT OF ME. 332 00:16:02,067 --> 00:16:04,967 IT MIGHT NOT EVEN TASTE THAT GOOD, 333 00:16:04,967 --> 00:16:08,167 BUT I'M JUST HAPPY THAT I'M EATING IT. 334 00:16:08,167 --> 00:16:10,900 I KNOW BETTER, BUT I STILL KEEP DOING IT. 335 00:16:12,267 --> 00:16:13,700 THANK YOU. YEP. 336 00:16:14,700 --> 00:16:18,833 MY EATING IS VERY OUT OF CONTROL. 337 00:16:18,833 --> 00:16:22,633 IT'S NOT JUST KEEPING ME ALIVE LIKE IT'S SUPPOSED TO. 338 00:16:22,633 --> 00:16:24,767 IT'S, LIKE, BUILDING A COFFIN FOR ME 339 00:16:24,767 --> 00:16:25,900 AT THE SAME TIME. 340 00:16:28,067 --> 00:16:34,733 IT'S KILLING ME A SLOW, DRAWN-OUT, HORRIBLE DEATH. 341 00:16:34,733 --> 00:16:36,233 [ Crying ] A LOT OF TIMES, I GO TO BED, 342 00:16:36,233 --> 00:16:38,367 AND I'M LIKE, "GOD, JUST LET ME NOT WAKE UP IN THE MORNING." 343 00:16:38,367 --> 00:16:40,067 IT'S JUST SO MUCH EASIER. 344 00:16:40,067 --> 00:16:42,367 I WON'T BE A BURDEN ON MY FAMILY. 345 00:16:42,367 --> 00:16:46,367 [ Voice breaking ] I MISSED OUT ON A LOT WITH MY DAUGHTER 346 00:16:46,367 --> 00:16:49,067 THAT I WILL NEVER GET BACK. 347 00:16:49,067 --> 00:16:50,367 [ Normal voice ] I FIGURE THAT 348 00:16:50,367 --> 00:16:52,800 MY MOM WILL BURY ME BEFORE SHE DIES. 349 00:16:52,800 --> 00:16:56,667 [ Voice breaking ] IF I DON'T CHANGE, I'M GONNA BE DEAD, 350 00:16:56,667 --> 00:17:00,300 AND I WANT TO GROW OLD TO BE A GRANDMA. 351 00:17:00,300 --> 00:17:03,333 I WANT TO BE A BETTER GRANDMA THAN I WAS A MOM. 352 00:17:03,333 --> 00:17:05,900 AND IF I KEEP GETTING BIGGER, 353 00:17:05,900 --> 00:17:08,100 THEN I'M NOT GONNA BE ABLE TO HAVE THAT CHANCE. 354 00:17:08,100 --> 00:17:11,267 [ EXHALES SHARPLY ] 355 00:17:14,633 --> 00:17:17,667 ** 356 00:17:26,433 --> 00:17:28,233 YOU GUYS ARE GONNA CARRY ALL THIS STUFF OUT HERE, 357 00:17:28,233 --> 00:17:30,067 DON'T FORGET MY LITTLE BAG. 358 00:17:30,067 --> 00:17:32,067 ** 359 00:17:37,167 --> 00:17:39,167 Kirsten: TODAY WE'RE PACKING UP 360 00:17:39,167 --> 00:17:42,367 AND LEAVING FOR OUR DRIVE TO TEXAS 361 00:17:42,367 --> 00:17:43,567 SO I CAN MEET THE DOCTOR 362 00:17:43,567 --> 00:17:45,433 AND SEE IF HE'LL TAKE ME ON AS A PATIENT. 363 00:17:45,433 --> 00:17:50,133 MY PARENTS ARE DOING ALL THE PACKING FOR THE TRIP. 364 00:17:50,133 --> 00:17:52,067 WHERE DO YOU WANT YOUR COOLER? 365 00:17:52,067 --> 00:17:53,867 YOU WANT IT IN THE VERY BACK? 366 00:17:53,867 --> 00:17:55,700 WILL IT FIT IN THE VERY BACK? 367 00:17:55,700 --> 00:17:57,233 I WISH I COULD HELP MORE. 368 00:17:57,233 --> 00:18:00,433 I WISH THAT IT WASN'T SO STRESSFUL ON MY MOM AND DAD. 369 00:18:00,433 --> 00:18:05,167 EVERYBODY IS BEING INCONVENIENCED AND BURDENED, 370 00:18:05,167 --> 00:18:07,133 BUT IF I DON'T GO, I'M MORE OF A BURDEN 371 00:18:07,133 --> 00:18:09,200 BECAUSE THEN THEY HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF ME. 372 00:18:09,200 --> 00:18:10,300 IS THAT EVERYTHING? 373 00:18:10,300 --> 00:18:11,933 SHE'S STILL GOT THAT BIG BASKET IN THERE. 374 00:18:11,933 --> 00:18:12,733 OH, THAT'S RIGHT. 375 00:18:12,733 --> 00:18:13,933 Kurt: I AM DOING THIS 376 00:18:13,933 --> 00:18:16,233 SO THAT MY DAUGHTER CAN HAVE A NORMAL LIFE, 377 00:18:16,233 --> 00:18:19,067 LIVING ON HER OWN 378 00:18:19,067 --> 00:18:21,733 AND TAKING CARE OF HERSELF AND HER SON. 379 00:18:23,467 --> 00:18:24,900 Kirsten: THIS IS JUST FOR ONE APPOINTMENT. 380 00:18:24,900 --> 00:18:28,900 WE'RE DRIVING 2,500 MILES. 381 00:18:28,900 --> 00:18:33,600 I'M SO NERVOUS, BUT I KNOW I HAVE TO DO IT. 382 00:18:33,600 --> 00:18:37,933 AFTER NOT BEING ABLE TO FIT IN MY MOM'S CAR, 383 00:18:37,933 --> 00:18:40,967 WE BORROWED A MINIVAN FOR THE DRIVE TO HOUSTON. 384 00:18:40,967 --> 00:18:44,833 I'M SCARED I WON'T EVEN FIT IN IT. 385 00:18:44,833 --> 00:18:46,500 Kirsten: NEIKO, I NEED YOU TO PUT THIS FORWARD. 386 00:18:46,500 --> 00:18:48,167 GET OUT AND PUT IT FORWARD. 387 00:18:48,167 --> 00:18:49,067 [ SCOFFS ] 388 00:18:49,067 --> 00:18:51,167 NO. IT'S ON THE SIDE, PEOPLE. 389 00:18:51,167 --> 00:18:52,533 IT'S ON THE SIDE, NEIKO. 390 00:18:53,667 --> 00:18:57,667 OW! PART OF THE DOOR JUST, LIKE, STABBED ME! 391 00:18:57,667 --> 00:18:59,333 Kirsten: I'M GOING TO HOUSTON 392 00:18:59,333 --> 00:19:01,733 BECAUSE I'M TIRED OF EVERY SIMPLE THING 393 00:19:01,733 --> 00:19:03,867 THAT SHOULD BE SO SIMPLE TO DO 394 00:19:03,867 --> 00:19:06,267 IS EXTREMELY DIFFICULT. 395 00:19:06,267 --> 00:19:07,933 JUST GIVE ME A MINUTE. 396 00:19:07,933 --> 00:19:11,367 [ PANTING, WHEEZING ] 397 00:19:11,367 --> 00:19:13,100 [ GRUNTING ] 398 00:19:13,100 --> 00:19:16,367 JUST SHUT THE DOOR. 399 00:19:16,367 --> 00:19:19,700 THANK GOD I FIT. 400 00:19:19,700 --> 00:19:22,600 THIS IS GONNA BE A LONG JOURNEY, 401 00:19:22,600 --> 00:19:26,067 BUT MY MOM, MY DAD, AND NEIKO ARE COMING WITH ME TO HELP. 402 00:19:26,067 --> 00:19:28,667 MY DAD'S DRIVING HIS TRUCK 403 00:19:28,667 --> 00:19:31,167 BECAUSE THERE'S A NOT A LOT OF ROOM IN THE MINIVAN 404 00:19:31,167 --> 00:19:32,600 WITH ME IN THE BACK. 405 00:19:33,700 --> 00:19:36,233 Cris: I WAS SURPRISED THAT KIRSTEN 406 00:19:36,233 --> 00:19:38,133 WAS WILLING TO TAKE THIS ROAD TRIP 407 00:19:38,133 --> 00:19:40,967 TO MEET THE DOCTOR. 408 00:19:40,967 --> 00:19:42,633 IT'S GONNA BE FIVE DAYS, 409 00:19:42,633 --> 00:19:45,733 AND THAT IS A LONG TIME IN THE CAR. 410 00:19:45,733 --> 00:19:48,100 IT SHOWS ME THAT 411 00:19:48,100 --> 00:19:50,867 SHE'S SERIOUS ABOUT HER WEIGHT-LOSS JOURNEY. 412 00:19:50,867 --> 00:19:53,933 Kirsten: I'VE NEVER SEEN THIS MUCH OF THE WORLD. 413 00:19:53,933 --> 00:19:57,933 I'VE WASTED SO MUCH OF MY LIFE, 414 00:19:57,933 --> 00:20:01,967 AND I'M HOPING AND PRAYING I CAN CHANGE THAT. 415 00:20:01,967 --> 00:20:05,000 ** 416 00:20:08,500 --> 00:20:11,933 I'VE NEVER BEEN ON THE ROAD THIS LONG. 417 00:20:11,933 --> 00:20:14,600 IT'S REALLY TOUGH. 418 00:20:14,600 --> 00:20:17,867 THE HARDEST PART IS HAVING TO STOP AND GET OUT 419 00:20:17,867 --> 00:20:20,033 EVERY TIME I HAVE TO USE THE BATHROOM. 420 00:20:20,033 --> 00:20:22,233 OH, DAMN IT. 421 00:20:26,133 --> 00:20:28,800 [ Crying] WHY DID YOU PARK SO FAR? 422 00:20:28,800 --> 00:20:30,533 IT'S STRAIGHT UP THAT WAY. JUST TAKE AND GO RIGHT -- 423 00:20:30,533 --> 00:20:32,600 I CAN'T EVEN STEP ON THE CURB. 424 00:20:32,600 --> 00:20:33,667 OH, GIVE ME YOUR HAND. COME ON. 425 00:20:33,667 --> 00:20:36,700 COME ON. LIFT. 426 00:20:36,700 --> 00:20:38,767 DAMN IT ALL. 427 00:20:38,767 --> 00:20:40,367 GIVE ME YOUR GLASSES. 428 00:20:40,367 --> 00:20:44,033 NO. JUST LEAVE ME ALONE. 429 00:20:44,033 --> 00:20:45,967 Kirsten: THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE. 430 00:20:45,967 --> 00:20:49,100 THE BATHROOM IS SO FAR AWAY. 431 00:20:49,100 --> 00:20:51,000 JUST GET ME MY WALKER. I CAN'T MAKE IT THAT FAR. 432 00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:52,900 GET HER THE WALKER. HURRY UP. 433 00:20:52,900 --> 00:20:55,167 Kurt: WE JUST LEFT THE BATHROOM. WHY DIDN'T SHE GO THERE? 434 00:20:58,767 --> 00:21:00,900 Kirsten: I CAN'T EVEN JUST RUN TO THE BATHROOM 435 00:21:00,900 --> 00:21:02,067 LIKE ANYBODY ELSE WOULD. 436 00:21:02,067 --> 00:21:04,300 I HAD TO SIT THERE AND STOP AND WAIT. 437 00:21:09,667 --> 00:21:13,067 [ PANTING, WHEEZING ] 438 00:21:13,067 --> 00:21:15,200 I'M EMBARRASSED TO GO OUT. 439 00:21:15,200 --> 00:21:17,267 IT'S HARD TO GET IN AND OUT OF THE VAN. 440 00:21:17,267 --> 00:21:20,067 [ GRUNTING ] 441 00:21:20,067 --> 00:21:21,600 GET ME -- 442 00:21:21,600 --> 00:21:23,100 MOM, HELP! 443 00:21:23,100 --> 00:21:24,667 Cris: OKAY. I DIDN'T KNOW YOU NEEDED HELP. 444 00:21:24,667 --> 00:21:26,433 [ Crying ] HELP ME, MOM. 445 00:21:26,433 --> 00:21:29,200 OKAY, NOW. 446 00:21:29,200 --> 00:21:30,700 Cris: ARE YOU GOOD? 447 00:21:30,700 --> 00:21:32,900 I HATE LIVING LIKE THIS. 448 00:21:32,900 --> 00:21:36,633 Kurt: WHEN KIRSTEN GETS AGGRAVATED, YOU CAN'T REALLY TALK TO HER. 449 00:21:36,633 --> 00:21:38,433 SHE SNAPS, STARTS SCREAMING, 450 00:21:38,433 --> 00:21:42,567 AND GETS VERY MAD AT EVERYBODY AND ANYTHING AROUND HER. 451 00:21:44,400 --> 00:21:46,700 JUST GET AWAY FROM ME! 452 00:21:46,700 --> 00:21:48,633 WHATEVER. 453 00:21:48,633 --> 00:21:51,933 LET ME GET OUT MYSELF. 454 00:21:51,933 --> 00:21:55,933 Kurt: NO ONE UNDERSTANDS HOW HARD THIS IS FOR ME. 455 00:21:55,933 --> 00:21:59,800 THEY JUST DON'T CARE. 456 00:21:59,800 --> 00:22:04,267 MY BODY HURTS SO BAD, I JUST NEED TO LAY DOWN. 457 00:22:04,267 --> 00:22:05,300 [ BED SPRINGS CREAK ] 458 00:22:08,067 --> 00:22:11,067 [ Crying ] WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO? 459 00:22:11,067 --> 00:22:12,867 Cris: JUST GET IN THE BED. 460 00:22:12,867 --> 00:22:16,233 AND WHAT IF IT BREAKS? 461 00:22:16,233 --> 00:22:17,567 WE ALREADY HEARD THE CRACK, 462 00:22:17,567 --> 00:22:20,067 SO IF IT'S BROKEN, IT'S BROKEN. 463 00:22:20,067 --> 00:22:23,933 [ CRYING ] 464 00:22:23,933 --> 00:22:25,767 MOMMY, CAN YOU JUST LIFT MY LEG UP 465 00:22:25,767 --> 00:22:27,967 SO I DON'T HAVE TO BOUNCE ON IT TOO MUCH? 466 00:22:29,267 --> 00:22:30,700 YOU WANT ME TO GRAB THE OTHER ONE, TOO? 467 00:22:30,700 --> 00:22:32,367 [ Crying ] YES. YES. 468 00:22:32,367 --> 00:22:36,333 OKAY. RELAX. 469 00:22:36,333 --> 00:22:39,633 [ GRUNTING ] 470 00:22:43,700 --> 00:22:44,967 EVEN THOUGH THIS IS 471 00:22:44,967 --> 00:22:47,967 ONE OF THE MOST DIFFICULT THINGS I'VE EVER DONE, 472 00:22:47,967 --> 00:22:50,267 I CAN'T QUIT AT IT. 473 00:22:50,267 --> 00:22:52,433 PUT THEM ON THE BED. 474 00:22:52,433 --> 00:22:55,167 NOW IT'S, LIKE, MY TIME TO FIGHT FOR MYSELF, 475 00:22:55,167 --> 00:22:56,467 OR I'M GONNA BE DEAD. 476 00:22:59,700 --> 00:23:02,800 ** 477 00:23:04,800 --> 00:23:09,500 EACH DAY GETS HARDER AND HARDER TO BE IN THIS CAR. 478 00:23:09,500 --> 00:23:12,967 I AM IN SO MUCH PAIN, AND EVERYONE'S UPSET, 479 00:23:12,967 --> 00:23:15,833 AND THIS STRESS JUST MAKES ME WANT TO CONSTANTLY EAT. 480 00:23:15,833 --> 00:23:18,067 MOM, CAN WE STOP AND GET SOMETHING TO EAT? 481 00:23:18,067 --> 00:23:19,500 OKAY. 482 00:23:19,500 --> 00:23:21,433 I'VE BEEN TRYING REALLY HARD, 483 00:23:21,433 --> 00:23:22,900 BUT SOMETIMES YOU HAVE A SLIP UP. 484 00:23:22,900 --> 00:23:27,333 CAN I GET THE, UM, NUMBER 21, THE SANDWICH ONLY? 485 00:23:27,333 --> 00:23:29,067 WOMAN: Okay. 486 00:23:29,067 --> 00:23:31,067 THANK YOU. MM-HMM. 487 00:23:32,767 --> 00:23:35,767 Kirsten: I QUIT DRUGS AND I QUIT SMOKING 488 00:23:35,767 --> 00:23:37,900 AND I QUIT DRINKING. 489 00:23:37,900 --> 00:23:40,500 WHY CAN'T I QUIT EATING EVERYTHING? 490 00:23:40,500 --> 00:23:42,500 ** 491 00:23:42,500 --> 00:23:44,700 THIS IS THE END OF THE TRIP. 492 00:23:44,700 --> 00:23:48,100 WE'RE HERE IN HOUSTON. 493 00:23:48,100 --> 00:23:50,533 I KNEW THIS WOULD BE HARD, 494 00:23:50,533 --> 00:23:53,267 BUT IT'S BEEN SO MUCH TOUGHER THAN I THOUGHT. 495 00:23:53,267 --> 00:23:56,933 I FEEL LIKE THIS MAYBE IS LIKE A FRESH START. 496 00:23:56,933 --> 00:24:00,767 I JUST FEEL LIKE THIS IS MY CHANCE 497 00:24:00,767 --> 00:24:03,900 TO NOT BE SUCH A LOSER ANYMORE, 498 00:24:03,900 --> 00:24:09,233 LIKE MAYBE I WON'T BE SUCH A DISAPPOINTMENT. 499 00:24:09,233 --> 00:24:11,167 WHOO. AHH. 500 00:24:11,167 --> 00:24:14,233 HOPEFULLY, THE DOCTOR, WHEN I SEE HIM TOMORROW, 501 00:24:14,233 --> 00:24:17,733 WILL TELL ME THAT HE CAN HELP ME. 502 00:24:17,733 --> 00:24:19,067 IF HE TURNS ME AWAY, 503 00:24:19,067 --> 00:24:21,733 THEN I DON'T THINK I HAVE ANY MORE FIGHT LEFT IN ME -- 504 00:24:21,733 --> 00:24:24,567 LIKE... 505 00:24:24,567 --> 00:24:26,167 I'M JUST TIRED. 506 00:24:29,367 --> 00:24:35,067 ** 507 00:24:35,067 --> 00:24:37,967 TODAY I'M HEADED TO SEE A DOCTOR 508 00:24:37,967 --> 00:24:43,067 THAT MAY BE ABLE TO HELP ME GET WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY. 509 00:24:43,067 --> 00:24:46,067 WHAT IF HE TELLS ME THAT HE CAN'T HELP ME? 510 00:24:48,300 --> 00:24:50,667 Cris: IT'S JUST A CHANCE WE HAVE TO TAKE. 511 00:24:50,667 --> 00:24:51,867 THAT'S WHY WE MADE THIS TRIP -- 512 00:24:51,867 --> 00:24:53,267 TO FIND OUT. I KNOW. 513 00:24:53,267 --> 00:24:55,867 I AM WORRIED THAT THIS WHOLE TRIP 514 00:24:55,867 --> 00:24:57,533 COULD BE FOR NOTHING, 515 00:24:57,533 --> 00:25:00,233 THAT WE SEE THE DOCTOR 516 00:25:00,233 --> 00:25:02,733 AND HE TELLS US THAT HE CAN'T HELP KIRSTEN, 517 00:25:02,733 --> 00:25:04,533 AND THAT SCARES ME. 518 00:25:04,533 --> 00:25:05,867 WHEN WE SEE THE DOCTOR, 519 00:25:05,867 --> 00:25:07,800 IF HE PUTS YOU ON A STRICT DIET, 520 00:25:07,800 --> 00:25:09,100 ARE YOU GONNA BE HAPPY 521 00:25:09,100 --> 00:25:11,500 WITH THAT BEING YOUR LAST PIECE OF PIZZA? 522 00:25:12,900 --> 00:25:14,767 I SAID I'M NERVOUS. 523 00:25:15,533 --> 00:25:18,400 Kirsten: IT'S SCARY. 524 00:25:18,400 --> 00:25:20,400 MY LIFE IS RIDING ON THIS APPOINTMENT. 525 00:25:20,400 --> 00:25:23,133 ARE YOU READY? YEAH. 526 00:25:23,133 --> 00:25:27,067 IF I DON'T GET DR. NOW TO SAY THAT HE CAN HELP ME, 527 00:25:27,067 --> 00:25:32,067 THEN I'M PROBABLY GONNA END UP DEAD IN A FEW YEARS. 528 00:25:32,067 --> 00:25:36,433 I'M ABOUT TO FIND OUT IF I GET TO LIVE OR DIE. 529 00:25:43,200 --> 00:25:46,167 ** 530 00:25:57,433 --> 00:25:59,233 Woman: KIRSTEN PEREZ? 531 00:25:59,233 --> 00:26:01,433 Kirsten: I'VE SPENT MY WHOLE LIFE 532 00:26:01,433 --> 00:26:04,667 FEELING LIKE I'M WORTHLESS AND BEYOND HELP. 533 00:26:04,667 --> 00:26:06,233 HELLO. HELLO. 534 00:26:06,233 --> 00:26:08,233 AND THERE'S A PART OF ME THAT THINKS, 535 00:26:08,233 --> 00:26:10,133 "WHY SHOULD THIS BE ANY DIFFERENT?" 536 00:26:10,133 --> 00:26:12,600 AND I'M WONDERING IF I'M SETTING MYSELF UP 537 00:26:12,600 --> 00:26:14,133 FOR DISAPPOINTMENT RIGHT NOW. 538 00:26:17,700 --> 00:26:19,767 [ SIGHS ] 539 00:26:30,633 --> 00:26:33,367 AND HOW I CAN LET MYSELF GET LIKE THIS? 540 00:26:38,067 --> 00:26:39,800 WELL, YOU'RE HERE NOW, 541 00:26:39,800 --> 00:26:41,600 SO HOPEFULLY, 542 00:26:41,600 --> 00:26:43,333 THE DOCTOR'S GONNA BE ABLE TO HELP YOU, SO... 543 00:26:46,500 --> 00:26:49,300 I DON'T WANT TO GO BACK TO THAT ROOM. 544 00:26:51,833 --> 00:26:54,300 [ CRIES ] 545 00:26:54,300 --> 00:26:56,067 HOPEFULLY HE'LL TELL YOU, "LET'S GO" 546 00:26:56,067 --> 00:26:57,900 AND WE'LL GET THIS TAKEN CARE OF. 547 00:26:58,700 --> 00:26:59,833 [ EXHALES DEEPLY ] 548 00:26:59,833 --> 00:27:01,633 [ KNOCK ON DOOR ] HELLO. 549 00:27:01,633 --> 00:27:02,667 HELLO. HELLO. 550 00:27:02,667 --> 00:27:03,700 HOW ARE YOU ALL DOING? 551 00:27:03,700 --> 00:27:04,600 -FINE. -WE'RE GOOD. 552 00:27:04,600 --> 00:27:06,800 I'M DR. NOWZARADAN. 553 00:27:06,800 --> 00:27:08,700 SO, WHERE ARE YOU COMING FROM? 554 00:27:08,700 --> 00:27:09,900 WASHINGTON. 555 00:27:09,900 --> 00:27:12,967 OKAY. A LONG WAY FROM HERE, HUH? 556 00:27:12,967 --> 00:27:14,200 VERY LONG WAY. 557 00:27:14,200 --> 00:27:16,067 SO, YOU'RE 612 POUNDS. 558 00:27:16,067 --> 00:27:18,100 WHAT'S THE HEAVIEST YOU HAVE BEEN? 559 00:27:18,100 --> 00:27:19,800 THIS IS THE HEAVIEST. 560 00:27:19,800 --> 00:27:23,233 SO, WHAT DO YOU THINK IS CONTRIBUTING TO THAT? 561 00:27:23,233 --> 00:27:24,833 UM, I HAVE DEPRESSION, 562 00:27:24,833 --> 00:27:27,400 AND I WANT TO EAT ALL THE TIME. 563 00:27:27,400 --> 00:27:28,633 OKAY. 564 00:27:28,633 --> 00:27:30,500 HOW IS YOUR LEVEL OF ACTIVITY? 565 00:27:30,500 --> 00:27:32,567 I CAN WALK, 566 00:27:32,567 --> 00:27:33,867 BUT SOME DAYS, 567 00:27:33,867 --> 00:27:37,833 I'M HAVING WORSE DAYS BREATHING THAN OTHER DAYS, 568 00:27:37,833 --> 00:27:40,167 BUT I CAN USUALLY MAKE IT OUT TO THE CAR AND BACK. 569 00:27:40,167 --> 00:27:41,600 OKAY. 570 00:27:41,600 --> 00:27:43,067 Nowzaradan: KIRSTEN'S LACK OF STAMINA 571 00:27:43,067 --> 00:27:46,867 IS EVIDENCE THAT HER BODY IS IN VERY BAD SHAPE. 572 00:27:46,867 --> 00:27:49,067 IF SHE DOESN'T LOSE WEIGHT, 573 00:27:49,067 --> 00:27:51,100 I DON'T THINK SHE'S GONNA LAST TOO LONG. 574 00:27:51,100 --> 00:27:55,733 SHE'S AT THE POINT THAT HER BODY'S READY TO GIVE UP. 575 00:28:02,233 --> 00:28:05,300 BECAUSE IF YOU GET PNEUMONIA OR YOU GET A COLD, 576 00:28:05,300 --> 00:28:06,600 YOU'RE NOT GONNA PULL THROUGH THAT. 577 00:28:06,600 --> 00:28:08,600 THAT'S WHAT I'M SCARED OF THE MOST. 578 00:28:08,600 --> 00:28:10,800 WELL, IF YOU'RE SCARED ENOUGH, 579 00:28:10,800 --> 00:28:13,867 THEN YOU MAKE A DECISION, MAKE THE CHANGES, 580 00:28:13,867 --> 00:28:15,067 OKAY? MM-HMM. 581 00:28:15,067 --> 00:28:16,667 SO, EVERYTHING RIGHT NOW 582 00:28:16,667 --> 00:28:20,267 IS GONNA BE IN YOUR COURT, OKAY? 583 00:28:20,267 --> 00:28:21,833 YEAH. I KNOW. 584 00:28:21,833 --> 00:28:24,433 I KNOW I DON'T WANT TO BE LIKE THIS ANYMORE. 585 00:28:24,433 --> 00:28:26,100 I WANT TO CHANGE. 586 00:28:26,100 --> 00:28:30,133 SO, WHAT'S KEEPING YOU FROM MAKING THE CHANGE? 587 00:28:30,133 --> 00:28:32,300 UM, I FEEL LIKE THAT'S ALL I HAVE LEFT. 588 00:28:32,300 --> 00:28:35,333 YOU'RE ACTUALLY KILLING YOURSELF WITH THE FOOD. 589 00:28:35,333 --> 00:28:37,200 OKAY? 590 00:28:37,200 --> 00:28:39,933 IT IS NOT SOMETHING THAT'S GONNA BE EASY TO DO, 591 00:28:39,933 --> 00:28:42,867 BUT YOU HAVE TO RECOGNIZE YOUR PROBLEM, 592 00:28:42,867 --> 00:28:45,900 AND THEN YOU NEED TO CORRECT IT, OKAY? 593 00:28:45,900 --> 00:28:48,300 YOU HAVE A HERNIA? 594 00:28:48,300 --> 00:28:49,400 I HAVE A HERNIA. 595 00:28:51,700 --> 00:28:53,167 I HAVE ONE HERE, 596 00:28:53,167 --> 00:28:55,067 AND THEN THERE'S ONE DOWN HERE THAT YOU CAN'T SEE. 597 00:28:55,067 --> 00:28:58,267 THAT'S GONNA BE A BAD SITUATION. 598 00:28:58,267 --> 00:29:00,367 THAT NEEDS TO BE CORRECTED, 599 00:29:00,367 --> 00:29:03,300 BUT THERE'S NOTHING THAT CAN BE DONE 600 00:29:03,300 --> 00:29:04,533 UNLESS YOU LOSE SOME WEIGHT. 601 00:29:04,533 --> 00:29:06,233 YEAH, I KNOW. 602 00:29:06,233 --> 00:29:07,300 YOU NEED TO DEMONSTRATE 603 00:29:07,300 --> 00:29:09,200 THAT YOU ARE WILLING TO MAKE THE CHANGES, 604 00:29:09,200 --> 00:29:11,733 AND YOU NEED TO INCREASE YOUR ACTIVITY. 605 00:29:11,733 --> 00:29:16,333 WE'RE GONNA PUT YOU ON A 1,200-CALORIE-A-DAY DIET -- 606 00:29:16,333 --> 00:29:19,300 ABSOLUTELY NO CARBS AND NO SUGAR. 607 00:29:19,300 --> 00:29:21,367 THE PRIORITY IS TO GET YOU HEALTHY ENOUGH 608 00:29:21,367 --> 00:29:22,600 TO REPAIR THE HERNIA 609 00:29:22,600 --> 00:29:24,300 SO WE CAN FIX THE ABDOMINAL WALL 610 00:29:24,300 --> 00:29:26,767 TO EVEN MAKE WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY AN OPTION FOR YOU. 611 00:29:26,767 --> 00:29:27,933 OKAY. 612 00:29:27,933 --> 00:29:32,067 YOU NEED TO BE ABLE TO LOSE AT LEAST 50 POUNDS 613 00:29:32,067 --> 00:29:34,633 BEFORE NEXT MONTH. OKAY. 614 00:29:34,633 --> 00:29:37,733 THEN I'LL BE ABLE TO DO SURGERY AND CORRECT THE HERNIA. 615 00:29:37,733 --> 00:29:40,200 KIRSTEN IS A VERY POOR CANDIDATE 616 00:29:40,200 --> 00:29:42,967 FOR WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY AT THIS TIME. 617 00:29:42,967 --> 00:29:45,300 MOST OF HER ABDOMINAL CONTENTS 618 00:29:45,300 --> 00:29:48,133 ARE OUTSIDE OF HER ABDOMINAL WALL, 619 00:29:48,133 --> 00:29:50,600 AND UNLESS WE PUT THE ABDOMINAL CONTENTS 620 00:29:50,600 --> 00:29:51,933 BACK INSIDE OF THE ABDOMEN, 621 00:29:51,933 --> 00:29:53,100 THERE IS NO WAY 622 00:29:53,100 --> 00:29:56,100 WE CAN DO ANY KIND OF WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY. 623 00:29:56,100 --> 00:29:57,667 IF YOU GET TO THE POINT 624 00:29:57,667 --> 00:30:00,733 THAT YOU CONSIDER WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY, 625 00:30:00,733 --> 00:30:04,100 YOU NEED TO MOVE DOWN TO THE GREAT STATE OF TEXAS. 626 00:30:04,100 --> 00:30:05,800 [ LAUGHS ] 627 00:30:05,800 --> 00:30:07,267 ALL RIGHT? YEP. THANK YOU. 628 00:30:07,267 --> 00:30:08,900 OKAY. WE'LL SEE YOU ALL LATER. 629 00:30:12,467 --> 00:30:15,033 [ EXHALES DEEPLY ] SO, NOW I'M EXCITED. 630 00:30:15,033 --> 00:30:17,467 OKAY. BECAUSE NOW I KNOW THAT 631 00:30:17,467 --> 00:30:22,600 IF I LOSE 50 POUNDS, THEN I'LL QUALIFY. 632 00:30:22,600 --> 00:30:24,933 I MEAN, 50 POUNDS IS NOTHING. 633 00:30:24,933 --> 00:30:26,500 IF IT WAS THAT EASY, 634 00:30:26,500 --> 00:30:28,367 YOU WOULDN'T BE IN THE PREDICAMENT YOU'RE IN. 635 00:30:28,367 --> 00:30:29,433 WELL, I KNOW, 636 00:30:29,433 --> 00:30:31,433 BUT IF I REALLY PUT MY MIND TO IT, 637 00:30:31,433 --> 00:30:34,433 I HAVE TO DO IT. I CAN'T BE LIKE THIS ANYMORE. 638 00:30:34,433 --> 00:30:37,400 IT'S GONNA BE A CHALLENGE FOR KIRSTEN, 639 00:30:37,400 --> 00:30:41,667 BUT I THINK SHE'S READY FOR THE CHANGE. 640 00:30:41,667 --> 00:30:44,833 Kirsten: I FEEL LIKE I HAVE TO DO IT, 641 00:30:44,833 --> 00:30:47,100 NOT THAT I'M READY, 642 00:30:47,100 --> 00:30:50,600 BUT I FEEL LIKE I DON'T HAVE ANY OTHER OPTIONS LEFT. 643 00:30:50,600 --> 00:30:53,533 Kurt: I BELIEVE WHAT THE DOCTOR SAYS, YOU KNOW? 644 00:30:53,533 --> 00:30:57,167 [ Voice breaking ] YOU GOT FIVE YEARS. 645 00:30:57,167 --> 00:31:00,900 I HOPE KIRSTEN HAS WHAT IT TAKES, 646 00:31:00,900 --> 00:31:05,967 SO I KNOW WHEN WE'RE GONE, SHE CAN TAKE CARE OF HERSELF. 647 00:31:09,433 --> 00:31:12,200 Kirsten: THIS IS MY LAST CHANCE. 648 00:31:12,200 --> 00:31:15,233 THIS IS MY ONLY CHANCE. 649 00:31:15,233 --> 00:31:17,867 SO I'M GONNA TAKE IT. 650 00:31:17,867 --> 00:31:20,900 ** 651 00:31:23,867 --> 00:31:28,600 WELL, ARE YOU GUYS READY FOR THE SIX-DAY JOURNEY BACK? 652 00:31:28,600 --> 00:31:30,433 I DON'T THINK I'M GONNA BE ABLE TO MAKE IT BACK. 653 00:31:30,433 --> 00:31:31,433 Cris: HUH? 654 00:31:31,433 --> 00:31:34,100 IT'S TOO HARD TO GO, 655 00:31:34,100 --> 00:31:35,733 AND THEN HAVE TO DO IT AGAIN. 656 00:31:37,433 --> 00:31:39,067 ARE YOU KIDDING? 657 00:31:39,067 --> 00:31:40,233 NO, I'M NOT KIDDING. 658 00:31:40,233 --> 00:31:42,833 MAYBE ME AND NEIKO CAN JUST GET A PLACE, 659 00:31:42,833 --> 00:31:44,767 AND THEN YOU COULD GO BACK HOME 660 00:31:44,767 --> 00:31:47,133 AND THEN COME BACK DOWN WITH THE REST -- 661 00:31:47,133 --> 00:31:49,200 WITH OUR STUFF. 662 00:31:49,200 --> 00:31:53,100 YOU THINK YOU CAN STAY ON YOUR OWN WITH NEIKO? 663 00:31:53,100 --> 00:31:54,967 WELL, NEIKO WILL HAVE TO HELP ME. 664 00:31:54,967 --> 00:31:56,400 THERE'S GONNA BE FOOD IN THE HOUSE 665 00:31:56,400 --> 00:31:58,200 THAT YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE TOUCHING. 666 00:31:58,200 --> 00:32:00,633 YOU CAN'T CONNIVE HIM INTO BRINGING IT TO YOU. 667 00:32:00,633 --> 00:32:03,067 HE'S ALREADY BEEN TRYING REALLY HARD TO DO THAT. 668 00:32:03,067 --> 00:32:05,200 I KNOW IT'S GONNA BE HARD, BUT WE COULD DO IT. 669 00:32:07,100 --> 00:32:09,067 I'M SCARED THAT IF I GO BACK 670 00:32:09,067 --> 00:32:12,700 THAT I'M NOT GONNA COME BACK AGAIN, 671 00:32:12,700 --> 00:32:15,067 BECAUSE IT'S GONNA BE TOO HARD ON ME. 672 00:32:15,067 --> 00:32:18,333 Cris: WELL, I GUESS THAT'S WHAT WE'LL DO THEN. 673 00:32:18,333 --> 00:32:20,867 Kirsten: I KNOW ENOUGH ABOUT MYSELF 674 00:32:20,867 --> 00:32:23,500 TO KNOW I'M NOT GONNA BE ABLE TO FORCE MYSELF 675 00:32:23,500 --> 00:32:25,767 TO MAKE THIS JOURNEY AGAIN. 676 00:32:25,767 --> 00:32:29,233 I THINK THE ONLY WAY I CAN STAY FOCUSED ON LOSING WEIGHT 677 00:32:29,233 --> 00:32:31,667 IS IF I STAY HERE IN HOUSTON. 678 00:32:34,900 --> 00:32:37,967 ** 679 00:32:49,800 --> 00:32:54,333 TODAY WE'RE MOVING NEIKO AND ME IN TO A NEW APARTMENT. 680 00:32:54,333 --> 00:32:56,367 THESE ARE PRETTY HEAVY. 681 00:32:56,367 --> 00:32:59,133 THIS IS SCARY BUT EXCITING. 682 00:32:59,133 --> 00:33:02,100 I'VE NEVER LIVED ANYWHERE BUT WASHINGTON. 683 00:33:02,100 --> 00:33:03,367 BUT I'M SO THANKFUL 684 00:33:03,367 --> 00:33:05,833 THAT MY FAMILY'S HELPING ME TO DO THIS 685 00:33:05,833 --> 00:33:08,100 SO I HAVE THIS CHANCE. 686 00:33:08,100 --> 00:33:11,100 PUT IT THIS WAY. 687 00:33:11,100 --> 00:33:13,500 I'M TOO HEAVY FOR A NORMAL BED, 688 00:33:13,500 --> 00:33:17,400 SO MY DAD'S BUILDING ONE OUT OF CINDER BLOCKS FOR ME. 689 00:33:17,400 --> 00:33:20,300 I HAVE A BED, BUT NOBODY ELSE DOES. 690 00:33:20,300 --> 00:33:22,233 WE WON'T HAVE ANY FURNITURE 691 00:33:22,233 --> 00:33:25,933 UNTIL THEY COME BACK FROM WASHINGTON. 692 00:33:25,933 --> 00:33:29,433 MY MOM HAS TO GO BACK HOME TO GET THE REST OF OUR STUFF. 693 00:33:29,433 --> 00:33:32,333 SO IT WILL JUST BE ME AND NEIKO FOR A WHILE, 694 00:33:32,333 --> 00:33:35,433 BECAUSE THERE'S NO WAY I COULD TAKE CARE OF MYSELF ON MY OWN. 695 00:33:38,500 --> 00:33:39,733 I FEEL BAD BECAUSE 696 00:33:39,733 --> 00:33:41,933 THEY HAVE TO PUT EVERYTHING BACK HOME ON HOLD. 697 00:33:44,067 --> 00:33:46,633 BUT THIS IS MY LAST CHANCE. 698 00:33:46,633 --> 00:33:49,800 Kurt: IT IS GONNA BE ROUGH TO SAY GOODBYE TO BOTH OF THEM. 699 00:33:49,800 --> 00:33:50,967 IT'S NOT GONNA BE EASY, 700 00:33:50,967 --> 00:33:52,267 BUT, HEY, IT'S SOMETHING THAT'S GOT TO BE DONE. 701 00:33:52,267 --> 00:33:55,433 OKAY. WE'RE TAKING OFF. WE ARE TAKING OFF. 702 00:33:55,433 --> 00:33:58,133 SEE YOU IN 10 DAYS. 703 00:33:58,133 --> 00:33:59,767 TAKE CARE. LOVE YOU AND SEE YOU... 704 00:33:59,767 --> 00:34:01,533 OKAY. LOVE YOU. 705 00:34:01,533 --> 00:34:04,500 IN LESS THAN TWO WEEKS. HOPEFULLY, 10 DAYS. 706 00:34:04,500 --> 00:34:05,733 SEE YOU LATER. LATER. BYE. 707 00:34:05,733 --> 00:34:07,900 ADIOS. BYE. 708 00:34:10,300 --> 00:34:13,067 Kirsten: NOW THAT THEY'RE LEAVING, THIS ALL SEEMS A LOT SCARIER. 709 00:34:13,067 --> 00:34:14,733 I HATE THIS BED. 710 00:34:14,733 --> 00:34:17,567 BUT AT LEAST I KNOW I HAVE NEIKO TO HELP ME RIGHT NOW 711 00:34:17,567 --> 00:34:19,767 UNTIL MY MOM GETS BACK. 712 00:34:29,867 --> 00:34:31,067 IT'S BEEN A WEEK 713 00:34:31,067 --> 00:34:33,267 SINCE MY MOM AND DAD LEFT ME WITH NEIKO. 714 00:34:33,267 --> 00:34:36,500 HONESTLY, I'M JUST DISAPPOINTED 715 00:34:36,500 --> 00:34:40,100 IN HOW LITTLE HELP HE'S BEEN TO ME. 716 00:34:40,100 --> 00:34:43,100 I TRY NOT TO ASK HIM TO DO ANYTHING FOR ME, 717 00:34:43,100 --> 00:34:46,067 BECAUSE NEIKO'S EXTREMELY RUDE TO ME NOW. 718 00:34:46,067 --> 00:34:47,533 GOTTEN THE POINT WHERE I CAN BARELY EVEN 719 00:34:47,533 --> 00:34:49,800 STAND TO BE IN THE SAME ROOM AS HIM ANYMORE. 720 00:34:51,167 --> 00:34:54,067 Neiko: I'M MAD AT MY MOM FOR BRINGING ME DOWN HERE. 721 00:34:54,067 --> 00:34:55,367 I DON'T FEEL RESPONSIBLE. 722 00:34:55,367 --> 00:34:57,667 I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO HELP HER LOSE WEIGHT DOWN HERE. 723 00:34:57,667 --> 00:35:00,300 I THINK THAT SHE SHOULD'VE DONE THIS A LONG TIME AGO. 724 00:35:00,300 --> 00:35:03,533 IT'S BECOME TOO MUCH FOR ME, 725 00:35:03,533 --> 00:35:06,400 BECAUSE, LIKE, I WASN'T ABLE TO EAT FOOD IN FRONT OF HER 726 00:35:06,400 --> 00:35:08,067 THAT I LIKE EATING. 727 00:35:08,067 --> 00:35:09,767 YO, G. 728 00:35:09,767 --> 00:35:11,500 [ LAUGHS ] 729 00:35:11,500 --> 00:35:12,800 YOU'RE SUCH AN [BLEEP] 730 00:35:12,800 --> 00:35:14,333 [ LAUGHS ] 731 00:35:14,333 --> 00:35:16,167 IT'S NOT FUNNY, NEIKO. 732 00:35:16,167 --> 00:35:18,333 Kirsten: I'M REALLY TRYING TO EAT HEALTHY, 733 00:35:18,333 --> 00:35:21,767 BUT NEIKO JUST EATS WHATEVER HE WANTS, 734 00:35:21,767 --> 00:35:23,500 AND HE DOES IT IN FRONT OF ME, 735 00:35:23,500 --> 00:35:27,500 SO IT'S HARD TO KEEP MY MIND OFF OF FOOD. 736 00:35:27,500 --> 00:35:28,967 I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU HAVE TO BUY STUFF LIKE THAT 737 00:35:28,967 --> 00:35:29,767 AND EAT IT IN FRONT OF ME. 738 00:35:29,767 --> 00:35:30,900 [ LAUGHS ] 739 00:35:30,900 --> 00:35:34,067 YOU'RE NOT FUNNY. IT'S RUDE. 740 00:35:34,067 --> 00:35:36,667 Neiko: SOMETIMES I EAT WHATEVER I WANT IN FRONT OF MY MOM, 741 00:35:36,667 --> 00:35:40,600 BUT SHE WATCHES THOSE FOOD SHOWS ALL DAY STILL, SO... 742 00:35:40,600 --> 00:35:41,533 [ SNIFFS ] 743 00:35:41,533 --> 00:35:43,433 ...I'M NOT GONNA FEEL BAD FOR HER. 744 00:35:43,433 --> 00:35:44,667 [ SIGHS ] 745 00:35:47,367 --> 00:35:49,300 I HOPE YOU CHOKE ON ONE OF THEM. 746 00:35:49,300 --> 00:35:50,900 YOU'RE NOT FUNNY. 747 00:35:50,900 --> 00:35:52,400 I DON'T THINK YOU'RE FUNNY AT ALL, NEIKO. 748 00:35:52,400 --> 00:35:54,233 YOU GET TRIGGERED ABOUT IT, 749 00:35:54,233 --> 00:35:55,567 AND THAT'S WHAT'S FUNNY. 750 00:35:55,567 --> 00:35:57,533 THE ONLY TIME THAT MY MOM MAKES ME LAUGH 751 00:35:57,533 --> 00:35:59,433 IS WHEN I AM ANNOYING TO HER, I GUESS, 752 00:35:59,433 --> 00:36:00,900 AND IT MAKES HER MAD. 753 00:36:00,900 --> 00:36:02,100 JUST GET OUT OF MY ROOM. 754 00:36:02,100 --> 00:36:03,333 I CAN'T EVEN STAND LOOKING AT YOU RIGHT NOW. 755 00:36:03,333 --> 00:36:04,933 YOU'RE NOT FUNNY. [ LAUGHS ] 756 00:36:04,933 --> 00:36:06,133 OKAY. 757 00:36:06,133 --> 00:36:08,233 I CAN'T EVEN STAND TO BE AROUND YOU ANYMORE. 758 00:36:08,233 --> 00:36:09,933 [ BLOWS RASPBERRY ] 759 00:36:09,933 --> 00:36:12,933 Kirsten: STRESSING OUT ABOUT THE WAY NEIKO ACTS 760 00:36:12,933 --> 00:36:16,233 MAKES ME WANT TO EAT STUFF THAT I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO. 761 00:36:16,233 --> 00:36:19,467 I'M JUST REALLY DISAPPOINTED RIGHT NOW. 762 00:36:19,467 --> 00:36:21,867 IT'S HARD ENOUGH TO HAVE TO DO THIS, 763 00:36:21,867 --> 00:36:25,600 BUT HAVING NEIKO SABOTAGE ME IS MAKING THIS IMPOSSIBLE. 764 00:36:30,967 --> 00:36:34,067 ** 765 00:36:41,533 --> 00:36:45,267 TODAY I'M HEADED TO DR. NOW'S OFFICE. 766 00:36:45,267 --> 00:36:47,433 MY MOM MADE IT BACK DOWN TO HOUSTON 767 00:36:47,433 --> 00:36:49,700 AND HAS BEEN HELPING ME FOR THE PAST COUPLE WEEKS. 768 00:36:51,200 --> 00:36:53,900 NEIKO WAS MAKING IT SO HARD. 769 00:36:53,900 --> 00:36:56,200 IF I HAD TO DO THE WHOLE MONTH WITH ONLY HIM, 770 00:36:56,200 --> 00:36:59,400 I THINK I WOULD'VE GIVEN UP BY NOW. 771 00:36:59,400 --> 00:37:02,900 YOU WILL BE FINE. YOU'LL BE JUST FINE. 772 00:37:02,900 --> 00:37:05,133 BUT I'VE BEEN TRYING, 773 00:37:05,133 --> 00:37:08,133 AND I REALLY HOPE I'VE DONE ENOUGH. 774 00:37:08,133 --> 00:37:12,267 THE DOCTOR TOLD ME I HAD TO LOSE 50 POUNDS IN ONE MONTH. 775 00:37:12,267 --> 00:37:17,167 I'VE NEVER LOST 50 POUNDS AT ANY POINT IN MY LIFE. 776 00:37:19,067 --> 00:37:20,400 OKAY. 777 00:37:20,400 --> 00:37:23,067 Kirsten: SO, IF I'VE DONE IT, THIS'LL BE A MIRACLE. 778 00:37:26,900 --> 00:37:28,633 THAT'S GOOD. 779 00:37:28,633 --> 00:37:30,067 YEAH. [ CHUCKLES ] 780 00:37:30,067 --> 00:37:32,900 I'M REALLY PROUD OF MYSELF. 781 00:37:34,333 --> 00:37:35,900 I WAS ONE POUND AWAY 782 00:37:35,900 --> 00:37:39,467 FROM HITTING THE 50-POUND GOAL THE DOCTOR WANTED ME TO, 783 00:37:39,467 --> 00:37:41,700 SO I REALLY HOPE I'M CLOSE ENOUGH 784 00:37:41,700 --> 00:37:43,333 TO SHOW HIM I CAN DO THIS. 785 00:37:43,333 --> 00:37:45,600 BUT I'M WORRIED THAT DR. NOW WILL TELL ME 786 00:37:45,600 --> 00:37:49,333 THAT I'M STILL NOT A CANDIDATE BECAUSE OF MY HERNIA. 787 00:37:49,333 --> 00:37:50,500 I KNEW THAT I'D STICK TO 788 00:37:50,500 --> 00:37:52,200 WHAT I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE EATING, 789 00:37:52,200 --> 00:37:54,567 AND I WASN'T DOING ANYTHING I WASN'T SUPPOSED TO, 790 00:37:54,567 --> 00:37:55,800 AND I GUESS IT SHOWED IT. 791 00:37:55,800 --> 00:37:57,300 [ KNOCK ON DOOR ] 792 00:37:57,300 --> 00:37:59,067 HELLO. 793 00:37:59,067 --> 00:38:01,367 HOW ARE YOU ALL DOING? GOOD. 794 00:38:01,367 --> 00:38:03,067 SO, THIS IS ONE MONTH. 795 00:38:03,067 --> 00:38:05,467 WE ASKED YOU TO LOSE 50 POUNDS, AND YOU LOST 49. 796 00:38:05,467 --> 00:38:06,867 YEAH. THAT'S VERY GOOD. 797 00:38:06,867 --> 00:38:09,867 YOU ABLE TO DO MORE ACTIVITY? 798 00:38:09,867 --> 00:38:13,367 I FEEL LIKE I'M NOT HAVING TO SIT DOWN AS MUCH, 799 00:38:13,367 --> 00:38:15,933 I'M ABLE TO GO A LOT FURTHER, 800 00:38:15,933 --> 00:38:19,267 I'M ABLE TO TAKE CARE OF MYSELF BETTER THAN I WAS BEFORE. 801 00:38:19,267 --> 00:38:22,300 HOW ARE WE DOING WITH YOUR EATING HABITS? 802 00:38:22,300 --> 00:38:25,867 I HAVE BEEN STICKING TO THE DIET YOU TOLD ME TO. 803 00:38:25,867 --> 00:38:26,900 OKAY. 804 00:38:26,900 --> 00:38:29,400 Nowzaradan: I'M PROUD OF KIRSTEN. 805 00:38:29,400 --> 00:38:31,633 SHE HAS A REALLY DYSFUNCTIONAL DYNAMIC AT HOME, 806 00:38:31,633 --> 00:38:37,133 SO I KNOW THIS WAS VERY HARD FOR HER. 807 00:38:37,133 --> 00:38:39,167 LET ME SEE HOW YOUR HERNIA'S COMING ALONG. 808 00:38:40,400 --> 00:38:42,400 NOW THAT YOU LOST SOME WEIGHT THERE, 809 00:38:42,400 --> 00:38:44,867 DO YOU FEEL LIKE THE HERNIA IS GETTING SMALLER? 810 00:38:44,867 --> 00:38:46,900 YEAH. I FELT LIKE IT WAS UP HIGHER, LIKE THIS, 811 00:38:46,900 --> 00:38:49,133 LIKE IT WAS A LOT BIGGER AROUND. 812 00:38:49,133 --> 00:38:50,333 OKAY. 813 00:38:50,333 --> 00:38:52,433 BEFORE WE DO WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY, 814 00:38:52,433 --> 00:38:54,167 WE NEED TO FIX THOSE HERNIAS. OKAY? 815 00:38:54,167 --> 00:38:55,433 OKAY. GOOD. [ LAUGHS ] OKAY. 816 00:38:55,433 --> 00:38:57,900 Nowzaradan: MOST OF KIRSTEN'S ORGANS 817 00:38:57,900 --> 00:39:00,567 ARE COMING THROUGH HER ABDOMINAL WALL, 818 00:39:00,567 --> 00:39:04,233 WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE TO GET THE SPACE NEEDED 819 00:39:04,233 --> 00:39:06,167 TO DO ANY WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY. 820 00:39:06,167 --> 00:39:08,200 SO WE NEED TO REPAIR THIS, 821 00:39:08,200 --> 00:39:09,867 AND ONCE SHE HEALS, 822 00:39:09,867 --> 00:39:12,233 WE CAN CONSIDER WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY. 823 00:39:12,233 --> 00:39:15,333 NOW, IT'S VERY IMPORTANT YOU KEEP MAKING GOOD PROGRESS. 824 00:39:15,333 --> 00:39:16,567 THE WEIGHT YOU LOST 825 00:39:16,567 --> 00:39:19,167 IS GOING TO HELP YOU WITH YOUR HERNIA SURGERY. 826 00:39:19,167 --> 00:39:22,467 AND THE MORE YOU CAN LOSE, THE BETTER WE CAN REPAIR IT. 827 00:39:22,467 --> 00:39:26,467 SO, KEEP ON TRACK AND DON'T SLOW DOWN, OKAY? 828 00:39:26,467 --> 00:39:28,467 OKAY. IF YOU DO, 829 00:39:28,467 --> 00:39:31,067 IT COULD PREVENT ME FROM FULLY REPAIRING YOUR HERNIA, 830 00:39:31,067 --> 00:39:32,867 WHICH MEANS I WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO DO 831 00:39:32,867 --> 00:39:34,500 ANY WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY ON YOU. 832 00:39:34,500 --> 00:39:36,167 OKAY. THANK YOU. 833 00:39:36,167 --> 00:39:37,700 ALL RIGHT. I'LL SEE YOU ALL LATER. 834 00:39:37,700 --> 00:39:39,900 -THANK YOU. -ALL RIGHT. THANK YOU, DOCTOR. 835 00:39:42,067 --> 00:39:43,533 THAT MAKES ME MORE HAPPY THAN ANYTHING. 836 00:39:43,533 --> 00:39:44,667 I'M SO TIRED OF LOOKING AT IT. 837 00:39:44,667 --> 00:39:46,500 [ LAUGHS ] I'M SO TIRED OF LOOKING LIKE 838 00:39:46,500 --> 00:39:49,900 I'M HAVING A LOP-SIDED BABY IN ME. 839 00:39:49,900 --> 00:39:51,533 Kirsten: WHEN DR. NOW TOLD ME 840 00:39:51,533 --> 00:39:53,667 THAT MY HERNIA WAS GONNA GET FIXED FIRST, 841 00:39:53,667 --> 00:39:55,300 IT WAS KIND OF, LIKE, A SHOCK, 842 00:39:55,300 --> 00:39:57,933 BECAUSE THE LAST DOCTOR I SAW ABOUT IT 843 00:39:57,933 --> 00:40:01,467 TOLD ME THAT THERE WAS NO POINT IN DOING SURGERY ON IT. 844 00:40:01,467 --> 00:40:04,567 I FEEL ALMOST LIKE MAYBE IT'S TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE. 845 00:40:04,567 --> 00:40:07,633 SO, I'M GONNA WORK AS HARD AS I CAN TO NOT MESS THIS UP, 846 00:40:07,633 --> 00:40:11,567 BECAUSE I NEVER THOUGHT I'D EVEN GET THIS CHANCE. 847 00:40:11,567 --> 00:40:14,167 AND I'M NOT GONNA LOSE IT. 848 00:40:16,733 --> 00:40:23,500 ** 849 00:40:23,500 --> 00:40:25,167 THIS PAST WEEK, 850 00:40:25,167 --> 00:40:28,000 IT'S BEEN HARD TO FOCUS ON DOING MY EXERCISES 851 00:40:28,000 --> 00:40:30,367 AND STAYING ON TRACK WITH EVERYTHING. 852 00:40:30,367 --> 00:40:34,033 NEIKO WAS JUST STARTING TO GET OUT OF CONTROL. 853 00:40:34,033 --> 00:40:36,433 HE'S ACTING UP CONSTANTLY 854 00:40:36,433 --> 00:40:39,367 AND SAYING HORRIBLE THINGS TO ME AND MY MOM. 855 00:40:39,367 --> 00:40:41,667 NEIKO, PUT A LINER IN THERE. 856 00:40:41,667 --> 00:40:43,500 NO. WHY NOT? 857 00:40:45,867 --> 00:40:49,167 IT'S JUST SO INFURIATING. 858 00:40:49,167 --> 00:40:50,900 AND ANY TIME I SEE HIM, 859 00:40:50,900 --> 00:40:53,667 I JUST WANT TO SHUT DOWN COMPLETELY, 860 00:40:53,667 --> 00:40:55,833 AND I DON'T WANT TO HAVE TO DEAL WITH HIM. 861 00:40:55,833 --> 00:40:59,333 AND THAT STRESS MAKES IT SO MUCH HARDER 862 00:40:59,333 --> 00:41:01,967 TO FOCUS ON GETTING MY LIFE BACK ON TRACK. 863 00:41:01,967 --> 00:41:06,067 I DON'T THINK I CAN TAKE THIS MUCH MORE, 864 00:41:06,067 --> 00:41:08,300 SO I TOLD MY MOM I THOUGHT MAYBE IT WAS TIME 865 00:41:08,300 --> 00:41:11,067 FOR NEIKO TO GO BACK TO WASHINGTON. 866 00:41:11,067 --> 00:41:12,900 WHY WERE YOU GUYS HARASSING ME THIS MORNING? 867 00:41:12,900 --> 00:41:14,100 UM, WAKING YOU UP 868 00:41:14,100 --> 00:41:15,600 IS NOT HARASSING YOU. YES, IT WAS. 869 00:41:15,600 --> 00:41:17,900 I TOLD YOU GUYS TO LEAVE ME ALONE LIKE EIGHT TIMES. 870 00:41:17,900 --> 00:41:19,800 Kirsten: NO, YOU DIDN'T. YES, I DID. 871 00:41:19,800 --> 00:41:20,900 YOU DIDN'T EVEN ANSWER ME. 872 00:41:20,900 --> 00:41:22,667 YOU SURE DIDN'T THINK THERE WAS NO PROBLEM 873 00:41:22,667 --> 00:41:24,367 WHEN YOU WERE KEEPING US AWAKE ALL NIGHT 874 00:41:24,367 --> 00:41:25,567 MAKING YOUR STUPID NOISES. 875 00:41:25,567 --> 00:41:28,067 [ BELCHES ] EXCUSE YOU. 876 00:41:28,067 --> 00:41:29,300 NO. 877 00:41:29,300 --> 00:41:31,067 NOW, GIVE ME MY PHONE. YOU'RE NOT PLAYING ON IT. 878 00:41:31,067 --> 00:41:32,400 GIL SENT YOU ANOTHER [BLEEP] REQUEST. 879 00:41:32,400 --> 00:41:34,767 WOULD YOU STOP? [ LAUGHS ] 880 00:41:34,767 --> 00:41:36,533 THAT'S NOT FUNNY. [ LAUGHS ] 881 00:41:36,533 --> 00:41:38,067 I DON'T THINK YOU'RE FUNNY. 882 00:41:38,067 --> 00:41:41,067 Cris: NEIKO'S BEEN VERY HATEFUL TO KIRSTEN SINCE HE'S BEEN HERE. 883 00:41:41,067 --> 00:41:44,100 I KNOW THAT HE'S BLAMING HER FOR HIM BEING HERE. 884 00:41:44,100 --> 00:41:45,900 HE'S NOT WANTING TO COOPERATE, 885 00:41:45,900 --> 00:41:49,333 HE'S JUST GENERALLY VERY ANNOYING. 886 00:41:49,333 --> 00:41:51,567 IT'S LIKE HE WANTS TO SABOTAGE KIRSTEN, 887 00:41:51,567 --> 00:41:53,900 AND I'M SCARED SHE'S GONNA DIE SOON 888 00:41:53,900 --> 00:41:56,367 IF SHE DOESN'T SUCCEED AT THIS. 889 00:41:56,367 --> 00:41:58,467 WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO FIGURE OUT 890 00:41:58,467 --> 00:41:59,567 WHAT WE'RE GONNA DO WITH HIM. 891 00:41:59,567 --> 00:42:01,400 HE'S NOT HAPPY HERE. 892 00:42:01,400 --> 00:42:03,600 I'M JUST TIRED OF HIM 893 00:42:03,600 --> 00:42:06,100 MAKING EVERYBODY'S LIFE MISERABLE. 894 00:42:06,100 --> 00:42:08,167 Neiko: I DIDN'T WANT TO BE DOWN HERE, 895 00:42:08,167 --> 00:42:12,067 SO I'VE BEEN ACTING UP TO TRY TO GET BACK HOME. 896 00:42:12,067 --> 00:42:14,400 THOUGHT YOU ALREADY DECIDED THAT YOU WERE SENDING HIM BACK. 897 00:42:14,400 --> 00:42:17,200 WELL, I DON'T KNOW WHAT ELSE I'M SUPPOSED TO DO. 898 00:42:17,200 --> 00:42:18,433 WELL, I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M SUPPOSED TO DO WITH HIM, EITHER. 899 00:42:18,433 --> 00:42:21,233 I'M GOING TO HAVE SURGERY SOON, 900 00:42:21,233 --> 00:42:23,933 AND I DON'T NEED TO DEAL WITH HIM 901 00:42:23,933 --> 00:42:27,067 TAKING EVERYTHING OUT ON US BECAUSE HE'S UNHAPPY HERE. 902 00:42:27,067 --> 00:42:29,067 I JUST THINK THAT IT'S BETTER 903 00:42:29,067 --> 00:42:31,067 IF HE GOES BACK TO WASHINGTON. 904 00:42:31,067 --> 00:42:32,700 YEAH, I THINK THAT MAYBE 905 00:42:32,700 --> 00:42:35,567 GETTING HIM BACK IN FAMILIAR GROUNDS WILL HELP. 906 00:42:35,567 --> 00:42:37,800 Cris: I FEEL FOR KIRSTEN'S PROGRESS 907 00:42:37,800 --> 00:42:39,633 AND THE STRESS SHE'S BEEN UNDER 908 00:42:39,633 --> 00:42:42,767 THAT IT'S BEST THAT NEIKO PROBABLY GO BACK TO WASHINGTON. 909 00:42:42,767 --> 00:42:45,633 SO, I'M GOING TO PAY FOR HIM TO FLY HOME, 910 00:42:45,633 --> 00:42:48,500 AND HIS GRANDFATHER CAN DEAL WITH HIM. 911 00:42:48,500 --> 00:42:50,233 WE ALL WANT KIRSTEN TO GET BETTER, 912 00:42:50,233 --> 00:42:52,367 BUT NEIKO IS RISKING ALL OF THIS, 913 00:42:52,367 --> 00:42:54,833 AND IT SEEMS LIKE HE JUST DOESN'T CARE. 914 00:42:54,833 --> 00:42:58,067 AND IT'S HEARTBREAKING. 915 00:43:00,667 --> 00:43:02,700 Cris: NEIKO? 916 00:43:02,700 --> 00:43:05,467 NEIKO, IT'S TIME TO GET UP. 917 00:43:05,467 --> 00:43:06,867 COME ON, BUD. 918 00:43:06,867 --> 00:43:08,633 I KNOW YOU'RE AWAKE. 919 00:43:08,633 --> 00:43:10,200 QUIT IGNORING ME. 920 00:43:10,200 --> 00:43:11,733 GET OUT OF THE BED. COME ON. 921 00:43:11,733 --> 00:43:13,467 Neiko: I WENT TO BED AT 5:00 A.M. 922 00:43:13,467 --> 00:43:14,933 WELL, THAT'S NOT MY FAULT, 923 00:43:14,933 --> 00:43:17,233 AND WE NEED TO PACK YOUR BAGS. 924 00:43:17,233 --> 00:43:19,800 Kirsten: NEIKO'S LEAVING TODAY TO GO BACK TO WASHINGTON. 925 00:43:19,800 --> 00:43:23,067 ALL RIGHT. 926 00:43:23,067 --> 00:43:25,267 FOR EVERYBODY'S SANITY HERE, NOT JUST MINE, 927 00:43:25,267 --> 00:43:27,833 IT'S TIME THAT NEIKO GOES BACK. 928 00:43:27,833 --> 00:43:31,067 THIS IS [BLEEP] HOW I JUST PACKED ALL THIS STUFF. 929 00:43:31,067 --> 00:43:32,933 ** 930 00:43:32,933 --> 00:43:34,567 Kirsten: I HOPE YOU KNOW GRANDPA KURT'S NOT GOING TO PUT UP 931 00:43:34,567 --> 00:43:35,800 WITH YOUR ATTITUDE AND YOUR PROBLEMS AND -- 932 00:43:35,800 --> 00:43:36,833 WELL, NO [BLEEP] 933 00:43:36,833 --> 00:43:38,167 YEAH, THAT'S WHAT YOU SAY NOW, NEIKO -- 934 00:43:38,167 --> 00:43:39,333 THE ONLY REASON I ACTED LIKE THAT 935 00:43:39,333 --> 00:43:40,767 IS BECAUSE I DIDN'T WANT TO BE DOWN HERE. 936 00:43:40,767 --> 00:43:42,967 NEIKO, YOU ACTED LIKE THIS WHEN WE WERE UP THERE, TOO! 937 00:43:42,967 --> 00:43:44,833 NO, I DIDN'T. YES, YOU DID. 938 00:43:44,833 --> 00:43:47,900 I DON'T FEEL LIKE MY MOM'S ABLE TO BE A MOM TO ME. 939 00:43:47,900 --> 00:43:49,433 LIKE, IT'S MORE LIKE A SIBLING. 940 00:43:49,433 --> 00:43:51,333 LIKE, WE JUST FIGHT BACK AND FORTH, 941 00:43:51,333 --> 00:43:53,100 BACK AND FORTH ALL DAY. 942 00:43:53,100 --> 00:43:55,400 WELL, HAVE FUN IN WASHINGTON. 943 00:43:55,400 --> 00:43:56,900 I WILL. 944 00:43:56,900 --> 00:44:00,500 Kirsten: MY PRIORITY IS GETTING HEALTHY AND LOSING THE WEIGHT, 945 00:44:00,500 --> 00:44:06,067 AND IT'S REALLY HARD TO DO WHEN HE STRESSES ME OUT. 946 00:44:06,067 --> 00:44:07,733 I HAVE ENOUGH STRESS AS IT IS. 947 00:44:07,733 --> 00:44:09,067 ** 948 00:44:10,067 --> 00:44:12,133 Neiko: ARE YOU READY, GRANDMA? 949 00:44:12,133 --> 00:44:13,467 Cris: YEP. IT'S TIME TO GO. 950 00:44:13,467 --> 00:44:15,133 WILL YOU GRAB THE PINK, STRIPED BAG? 951 00:44:15,133 --> 00:44:16,800 Neiko: I CAN'T TAKE ONE MORE SECOND. 952 00:44:16,800 --> 00:44:19,333 I'VE BEEN READY TO MOVE OUT SINCE THE FIRST DAY WE GOT HERE. 953 00:44:19,333 --> 00:44:21,367 BYE, FATTY TWO-SHOE. 954 00:44:22,900 --> 00:44:26,400 Kirsten: PART OF ME IS SAD THAT HE'S LEAVING, 955 00:44:26,400 --> 00:44:30,067 BUT IT'S PART OF ME IS RELIEVED THAT HE'S GOING 956 00:44:30,067 --> 00:44:32,633 BECAUSE I CAN'T PUT UP WITH MUCH MORE OF HIM. 957 00:44:32,633 --> 00:44:34,567 ** 958 00:44:41,700 --> 00:44:45,900 ** 959 00:44:52,233 --> 00:44:55,067 Cris: I'M A LITTLE CONCERNED ABOUT KIRSTEN. 960 00:44:55,067 --> 00:44:57,800 SHE WAS REALLY MOTIVATED UNTIL NEIKO WENT HOME, 961 00:44:57,800 --> 00:45:00,100 BUT NOW SHE JUST SITS AROUND ALL DAY 962 00:45:00,100 --> 00:45:02,567 AND REALLY DOESN'T DO ANYTHING. 963 00:45:02,567 --> 00:45:05,933 I'VE BEEN TRYING TO GET HER MOVING MORE. 964 00:45:05,933 --> 00:45:07,600 I GET FRUSTRATED WITH HER AT TIMES 965 00:45:07,600 --> 00:45:09,967 BECAUSE I THINK SHE NEEDS TO PUSH HERSELF TO DO MORE. 966 00:45:11,067 --> 00:45:13,200 HEY, KIRSTEN, YOU CAN'T STAY IN BED ALL THE TIME. 967 00:45:13,200 --> 00:45:14,800 WE'RE GOING TO GO TO THE GROCERY STORE, 968 00:45:14,800 --> 00:45:16,333 SO GET YOUR SHOES ON. 969 00:45:17,700 --> 00:45:20,533 Kirsten: I HAVEN'T BEEN FEELING VERY WELL, 970 00:45:20,533 --> 00:45:23,700 AND MY MOM'S NOT A HELP WHEN SHE HAS TO MAKE ME GO TO THE STORE 971 00:45:23,700 --> 00:45:24,833 AND I DON'T WANT TO. 972 00:45:26,700 --> 00:45:28,600 I TRY TO TELL HER WHY I DON'T WANT TO GO, 973 00:45:28,600 --> 00:45:30,967 BUT SHE DON'T SEEM TO UNDERSTAND, SO... 974 00:45:30,967 --> 00:45:33,367 I KNOW THAT I SHOULD BE GETTING UP 975 00:45:33,367 --> 00:45:35,700 AND DOING MORE PHYSICAL ACTIVITY, 976 00:45:35,700 --> 00:45:38,167 BUT I JUST CAN'T SEEM TO GET MYSELF TO DO IT. 977 00:45:38,167 --> 00:45:40,467 ONCE I GO OUTSIDE, I'M NOT COMING BACK IN. 978 00:45:40,467 --> 00:45:43,733 I THINK NEIKO GOING HOME WHEN SHE'S TRYING TO CHANGE 979 00:45:43,733 --> 00:45:45,167 HAS HURT HER FEELINGS. 980 00:45:45,167 --> 00:45:48,533 THE HERNIA SURGERY IS GOING TO BE IN A COUPLE OF DAYS, 981 00:45:48,533 --> 00:45:51,967 AND I DON'T WANT HER TO DO ANYTHING TO LOSE THAT. 982 00:45:51,967 --> 00:45:54,067 I THINK I'LL THROW UP. 983 00:45:55,400 --> 00:45:57,667 BECAUSE I DON'T LIKE TO GO OUT PLACES. 984 00:45:57,667 --> 00:46:00,767 I HAVE ANXIETY. I DON'T LIKE IT. 985 00:46:00,767 --> 00:46:02,167 Cris: OKAY. 986 00:46:02,167 --> 00:46:05,067 I'M GOING TO LET YOU OUT, AND THEN I'M GOING TO GO PARK. 987 00:46:05,067 --> 00:46:09,133 Kirsten: SHOPPING WITH MY MOM IS NEVER A PLEASANT EXPERIENCE. 988 00:46:09,133 --> 00:46:12,600 SHE MAKES FUN OF ME, AND I CAN'T HAVE WHAT I WANT. 989 00:46:12,600 --> 00:46:14,533 I WENT TO THE GROCERY STORE IN WASHINGTON WITH MY MOM 990 00:46:14,533 --> 00:46:19,300 UNTIL SHE SAID STUFF ABOUT ME BEING TOO FAT FOR THE CART. 991 00:46:19,300 --> 00:46:21,600 THE CART, LIKE, KEPT DYING, 992 00:46:21,600 --> 00:46:23,900 [ Voice breaking ] SO SHE TOLD ME I WAS PROBABLY TOO FAT FOR IT. 993 00:46:23,900 --> 00:46:24,933 LET'S GO. 994 00:46:24,933 --> 00:46:28,833 SO, SHE'S REALLY NOT FUN TO BE AROUND. 995 00:46:32,800 --> 00:46:34,167 I HATE THIS. 996 00:46:34,167 --> 00:46:37,400 CAN'T HAVE FOOD, SO SHE BROUGHT ME TO THE CANDY AISLE. 997 00:46:37,400 --> 00:46:40,467 OH. I DIDN'T REALIZE THAT. 998 00:46:40,467 --> 00:46:43,567 THERE'S, LIKE, ALL THAT FOOD IN THERE THAT I CAN'T EAT! 999 00:46:43,567 --> 00:46:46,433 WHAT'S THE POINT IN GOING IN THERE AND LOOKING AT IT? 1000 00:46:46,433 --> 00:46:48,367 IS THERE ANYTHING IN PARTICULAR? 1001 00:46:49,333 --> 00:46:50,867 A NAP. 1002 00:46:50,867 --> 00:46:52,733 OKAY. 1003 00:46:52,733 --> 00:46:55,733 WE MIGHT FIND VEGETABLES DOWN HERE. 1004 00:46:55,733 --> 00:46:57,167 THEY'RE ALL THE WAY DOWN THERE 1005 00:46:57,167 --> 00:46:58,633 AT THE END OF THE OTHER AISLE. 1006 00:46:58,633 --> 00:47:00,700 HERE WE GO. 1007 00:47:00,700 --> 00:47:03,067 ALL RIGHT. 1008 00:47:03,067 --> 00:47:05,400 OKAY, LET'S GO DOWN AND LOOK FOR MORE VEGETABLES. 1009 00:47:05,400 --> 00:47:07,600 WHOO-HOO. 1010 00:47:07,600 --> 00:47:10,133 I WANT TO GET THE [BLEEP] OUT OF HERE. 1011 00:47:11,633 --> 00:47:13,633 THERE ARE EXPENSIVE HERE. 1012 00:47:16,600 --> 00:47:18,633 [ GROANS ] 1013 00:47:19,667 --> 00:47:25,100 IT'S 80%, 90%, 93%. 1014 00:47:25,100 --> 00:47:28,433 WE'RE GONNA BE HERE FOREVER. 1015 00:47:28,433 --> 00:47:29,767 COULD WE GO NOW? 1016 00:47:29,767 --> 00:47:31,833 MY LEG'S GOING TO SLEEP. 1017 00:47:31,833 --> 00:47:32,967 OKAY. 1018 00:47:34,467 --> 00:47:37,067 THIS IS REALLY POINTLESS. 1019 00:47:38,533 --> 00:47:41,367 GET OUT OF HERE. 1020 00:47:41,367 --> 00:47:42,733 I GUESS I HAVE TO JUST SIGN IT? 1021 00:47:42,733 --> 00:47:43,900 Woman: SIGN IT DOWN HERE. 1022 00:47:43,900 --> 00:47:46,333 ** 1023 00:47:47,300 --> 00:47:50,067 WE'LL UNLOAD, AND THEN I'LL DRIVE YOUR CART BACK IN. 1024 00:47:50,067 --> 00:47:52,267 GOOD, BECAUSE MY FREAKING LEG'S ASLEEP. 1025 00:47:52,267 --> 00:47:55,567 ** 1026 00:47:55,567 --> 00:47:57,367 [ SIGHS ] 1027 00:47:57,367 --> 00:47:59,100 ** 1028 00:47:59,100 --> 00:48:01,633 Cris: DOESN'T IT FEEL GOOD TO GET OUT OF THE HOUSE? 1029 00:48:01,633 --> 00:48:04,733 Kirsten: NO. 1030 00:48:07,500 --> 00:48:09,933 ** 1031 00:48:09,933 --> 00:48:12,200 ARE YOU READY TO GO? 1032 00:48:12,200 --> 00:48:14,333 I CAN GET THAT FOR YOU. IT'S HEAVY. 1033 00:48:14,333 --> 00:48:18,500 ** 1034 00:48:22,967 --> 00:48:27,167 TODAY, I'M GOING TO THE HOSPITAL TO HAVE HERNIA SURGERY. 1035 00:48:27,167 --> 00:48:30,167 AND I'M MORE EXCITED TO GET THIS DONE 1036 00:48:30,167 --> 00:48:32,300 THAN GET WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY 1037 00:48:32,300 --> 00:48:35,133 BECAUSE I WAS TOLD BY SURGEONS BACK IN WASHINGTON 1038 00:48:35,133 --> 00:48:37,900 THAT THEY WOULDN'T EVEN CONSIDER FIXING IT. 1039 00:48:40,300 --> 00:48:42,867 BUT I'M REALLY ANXIOUS RIGHT NOW. 1040 00:48:42,867 --> 00:48:46,133 I KNOW I HAVEN'T STAYED COMPLETELY ON TRACK RECENTLY, 1041 00:48:46,133 --> 00:48:49,833 BUT I STILL THINK I'M MAKING GOOD PROGRESS. 1042 00:48:51,367 --> 00:48:54,867 I'M MORE CONCERNED ABOUT THE FACT THAT I'M SICK RIGHT NOW. 1043 00:48:54,867 --> 00:48:55,867 [ SNEEZES ] 1044 00:48:55,867 --> 00:48:57,233 [ SNIFFLES ] 1045 00:48:57,233 --> 00:48:58,900 THAT WAS LOVELY. 1046 00:48:58,900 --> 00:49:00,300 [ SNIFFLES ] 1047 00:49:00,300 --> 00:49:01,833 MY BIGGEST FEAR IS THAT WHEN I GET THERE, 1048 00:49:01,833 --> 00:49:03,700 THEY'RE GOING TO TELL ME THAT I HAVE TO POSTPONE IT 1049 00:49:03,700 --> 00:49:04,700 BECAUSE I'M SICK. 1050 00:49:04,700 --> 00:49:07,300 I WANT TO GO TO EAT PANCAKES. 1051 00:49:07,300 --> 00:49:10,133 I DON'T SEE THAT HAPPENING ANY TIME SOON. 1052 00:49:11,200 --> 00:49:14,167 HOW ARE YOU FEELING ABOUT THE SURGERY TODAY? 1053 00:49:15,233 --> 00:49:17,067 WELL, I'LL PROBABLY GET SCARED WHEN I GET THERE, 1054 00:49:17,067 --> 00:49:18,533 BUT I'M NOT REALLY SCARED RIGHT NOW. 1055 00:49:18,533 --> 00:49:20,533 I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO EXPECT. 1056 00:49:20,533 --> 00:49:23,067 I JUST KNOW THAT THEY CUT SOME HOLES IN YOU, 1057 00:49:23,067 --> 00:49:24,900 THEY STICK SOME MESH IN THERE. 1058 00:49:24,900 --> 00:49:26,267 BUT, MY LUCK, I'M GOING TO GET THERE, 1059 00:49:26,267 --> 00:49:27,667 AND THEY'RE GOING TO TELL ME I'M SICK, 1060 00:49:27,667 --> 00:49:29,700 SO THEY CAN'T DO IT AND SEND ME HOME. 1061 00:49:33,633 --> 00:49:38,067 IF MY SURGERY GETS CANCELED, I'M GOING TO BE SO UPSET. 1062 00:49:39,900 --> 00:49:41,733 Dr. Nowzaradan: HI, KIRSTEN. 1063 00:49:41,733 --> 00:49:42,733 Kirsten: HELLO. 1064 00:49:42,733 --> 00:49:43,900 HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY? 1065 00:49:43,900 --> 00:49:45,367 FINE. ALL RIGHT. 1066 00:49:45,367 --> 00:49:47,800 AND YOU DIDN'T EAT OR DRINK ANYTHING SINCE LAST NIGHT, HUH? 1067 00:49:47,800 --> 00:49:49,067 NO. OKAY. 1068 00:49:49,067 --> 00:49:50,933 YOU READY FOR YOUR SURGERY TO GET RID OF THIS? 1069 00:49:50,933 --> 00:49:51,933 YES. 1070 00:49:51,933 --> 00:49:53,500 WHAT I'M GOING TO DO, 1071 00:49:53,500 --> 00:49:56,200 WE'RE GOING TO TAKE ALL THIS OUT AND PUT IT BACK INSIDE, 1072 00:49:56,200 --> 00:49:58,067 AND THEN CLOSE THE ABDOMINAL WALL 1073 00:49:58,067 --> 00:49:59,633 THAT YOU GOT A DEFECT IN IT. 1074 00:49:59,633 --> 00:50:01,967 YOU'VE GOT A BIG HOLE IN IT THAT BIG. 1075 00:50:01,967 --> 00:50:03,700 NOW THAT YOU'VE LOST SOME WEIGHT, 1076 00:50:03,700 --> 00:50:06,800 WE HAVE ROOM TO PUT IT BACK IN AND CLOSE THE BELLY, OKAY? 1077 00:50:06,800 --> 00:50:07,967 OKAY. ALL RIGHT. 1078 00:50:07,967 --> 00:50:09,433 WE'LL GET YOU STARTED SOON, OKAY? 1079 00:50:09,433 --> 00:50:11,967 OKAY. 1080 00:50:11,967 --> 00:50:13,700 ** 1081 00:50:13,700 --> 00:50:16,167 Cris: YOU'RE GETTING NERVOUS NOW, AREN'T YOU? 1082 00:50:16,167 --> 00:50:17,233 NOW I AM. 1083 00:50:17,233 --> 00:50:19,133 NOW I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA START BAWLING. 1084 00:50:19,133 --> 00:50:21,700 I GUESS I'M PROBABLY SCARED, 1085 00:50:21,700 --> 00:50:23,633 BUT IT'S TOO LATE TO BACK OUT NOW. 1086 00:50:24,700 --> 00:50:28,100 KIRSTEN SAYS SHE'S FEELING A LITTLE SICK, 1087 00:50:28,100 --> 00:50:32,100 AND SHE'S WORRIED ABOUT THAT PREVENTING HER FROM SURGERY. 1088 00:50:32,100 --> 00:50:34,267 BUT ALL HER TESTS STILL LOOK GOOD, 1089 00:50:34,267 --> 00:50:37,933 SO WE CAN MOVE AHEAD WITH HER OPERATION TODAY. 1090 00:50:37,933 --> 00:50:39,533 HER WEIGHT LOSS HAS SLOWED DOWN, 1091 00:50:39,533 --> 00:50:42,100 BUT SHE'S STILL MAKING PROGRESS AND HASN'T GAINED. 1092 00:50:42,100 --> 00:50:45,967 SO THERE SHOULD BE NO ISSUE PERFORMING HER SURGERY TODAY. 1093 00:50:45,967 --> 00:50:47,300 BYE, MOM. BYE. 1094 00:50:47,300 --> 00:50:49,400 I'LL SEE YOU AFTER SURGERY. 1095 00:50:49,400 --> 00:50:50,967 HANDS INSIDE THE RIDE. 1096 00:50:50,967 --> 00:50:56,333 Kirsten: IT'S HITTING ME NOW, AND I'M GETTING REALLY SCARED. 1097 00:50:56,333 --> 00:50:58,667 THEY COULD KNOCK ME OUT, AND I COULD STOP BREATHING 1098 00:50:58,667 --> 00:51:01,100 OR MY HEART COULD GIVE OUT. 1099 00:51:02,133 --> 00:51:04,733 I JUST HOPE THIS ISN'T THE LAST TIME I'M AWAKE 1100 00:51:04,733 --> 00:51:06,767 BECAUSE I'M ABOUT TO DIE ON THE OPERATING TABLE 1101 00:51:06,767 --> 00:51:09,667 IF ANYTHING GOES WRONG. 1102 00:51:20,700 --> 00:51:25,100 SHE PROBABLY HAS ONE OF THE WORST CASES OF HERNIA 1103 00:51:25,100 --> 00:51:27,267 I HAVE EVER SEEN. 1104 00:51:27,267 --> 00:51:28,733 ** 1105 00:52:21,533 --> 00:52:24,167 Cris: OF COURSE I'M A LITTLE WORRIED FOR HER 1106 00:52:24,167 --> 00:52:27,100 BECAUSE SOMETHING COULD HAPPEN AND SHE WOULD DIE. 1107 00:52:28,067 --> 00:52:31,533 IT WOULD BREAK MY HEART IF SOMETHING HAPPENED TO KIRSTEN. 1108 00:52:31,533 --> 00:52:33,500 [ INDISTINCT CONVERSATION ] 1109 00:52:33,500 --> 00:52:35,067 Man: 2.0 SILK. 1110 00:52:35,067 --> 00:52:36,800 2.0 SILK SUTURE. 1111 00:52:36,800 --> 00:52:38,467 ** 1112 00:53:31,700 --> 00:53:34,367 OKAY. THINGS ARE LOOKING GOOD. 1113 00:53:34,367 --> 00:53:35,633 ROOM LIGHT ON. 1114 00:53:35,633 --> 00:53:38,200 ** 1115 00:53:38,200 --> 00:53:41,433 LET'S CLOSE HER UP. 1116 00:53:41,433 --> 00:53:45,267 ** 1117 00:53:48,767 --> 00:53:50,067 ALL RIGHT. 1118 00:53:50,067 --> 00:53:53,433 WELL, WE'VE FINISHED WITH KIRSTEN'S LONG SURGERY. 1119 00:53:53,433 --> 00:53:55,400 EVERYTHING WENT VERY WELL. 1120 00:53:55,400 --> 00:53:57,467 A LITTLE BIT MORE COMPLICATED 1121 00:53:57,467 --> 00:53:59,133 THAN WHAT WE THOUGHT IT WOULD BE, 1122 00:53:59,133 --> 00:54:02,167 BUT IT WORKED OUT FOR THE BETTER 1123 00:54:02,167 --> 00:54:05,400 BECAUSE KIRSTEN'S HERNIA IS REPAIRED 1124 00:54:05,400 --> 00:54:07,500 AND I PERFORMED WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY. 1125 00:54:09,067 --> 00:54:12,333 SO, WE GET KIRSTEN TO RECOVERY AND LET HER REST. 1126 00:54:12,333 --> 00:54:15,500 ** 1127 00:54:16,533 --> 00:54:18,100 Cris: HI, DR. NOW. 1128 00:54:18,100 --> 00:54:19,733 SURGERY WENT VERY WELL. 1129 00:54:19,733 --> 00:54:20,900 FINALLY FINISHED. 1130 00:54:20,900 --> 00:54:22,533 THIS WAS A LITTLE BIT LONGER THAN ANTICIPATED. 1131 00:54:22,533 --> 00:54:25,100 IT'S A BIG OPERATION, 1132 00:54:25,100 --> 00:54:27,567 AND SHE'S GOING TO GO TO I.C.U. OVERNIGHT 1133 00:54:27,567 --> 00:54:29,867 TO MAKE SURE THAT SHE'S BREATHING OKAY 1134 00:54:29,867 --> 00:54:34,067 AND SHE'S DOING OKAY WITH THE PAIN MEDICINE AND SO FORTH. 1135 00:54:34,067 --> 00:54:35,567 OKAY. OKAY? 1136 00:54:35,567 --> 00:54:36,767 ALL RIGHT. 1137 00:54:36,767 --> 00:54:39,467 SO, BIG OPERATION, BUT EVERYTHING WENT VERY WELL. 1138 00:54:39,467 --> 00:54:41,467 OKAY, GOOD. WELL, I KNOW SHE WAS IN GOOD HANDS, SO... 1139 00:54:41,467 --> 00:54:42,767 [ CHUCKLES ] THANK YOU SO MUCH. 1140 00:54:42,767 --> 00:54:44,067 ALL RIGHT. WE'LL TAKE CARE OF HER. 1141 00:54:44,067 --> 00:54:45,067 OKAY. 1142 00:54:45,067 --> 00:54:46,733 THANK YOU. ALL RIGHT. 1143 00:54:46,733 --> 00:54:49,900 Cris: I'M RELIEVED THAT SHE'S OUT OF SURGERY. 1144 00:54:49,900 --> 00:54:52,733 SHE WAS IN THERE FOR QUITE A LONG TIME. 1145 00:54:53,800 --> 00:54:57,400 IT SOUNDED LIKE A PRETTY MAJOR SURGERY, 1146 00:54:57,400 --> 00:55:00,867 SO I DON'T KNOW HOW FAST SHE'S GOING TO RECOVER. 1147 00:55:03,233 --> 00:55:06,500 THE NEXT COUPLE DAYS WILL BE VERY DIFFICULT FOR KIRSTEN. 1148 00:55:06,500 --> 00:55:09,500 SHE'S NOT ONE FOR ANY DISCOMFORT, 1149 00:55:09,500 --> 00:55:12,067 SO WE WILL NEED TO WATCH HER CLOSELY. 1150 00:55:12,067 --> 00:55:13,800 ** 1151 00:55:18,867 --> 00:55:21,733 ** 1152 00:55:23,367 --> 00:55:25,600 [ KIRSTEN WRETCHES ] 1153 00:55:25,600 --> 00:55:28,067 [ GAGS ] 1154 00:55:28,067 --> 00:55:31,800 [ COUGHS ] 1155 00:55:36,167 --> 00:55:38,700 THE SECOND I WOKE UP FROM SURGERY, 1156 00:55:38,700 --> 00:55:40,367 ALL I FELT WAS PAIN. 1157 00:55:40,367 --> 00:55:46,933 AND I CAN BARELY EVEN GET UP TO GO TO THAT BATH BENCH 1158 00:55:46,933 --> 00:55:51,267 BECAUSE I HAVE NO ENERGY AT ALL. 1159 00:55:52,300 --> 00:55:56,267 I MEAN, I DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW THEY EXPECT ME TO GET UP 1160 00:55:56,267 --> 00:56:00,833 AND MOVE AROUND WHEN I'M NOT EVEN ALLOWED TO EAT ANYTHING. 1161 00:56:00,833 --> 00:56:04,833 [ GROANS ] 1162 00:56:04,833 --> 00:56:06,833 MY MOUTH IS SO DRY, 1163 00:56:06,833 --> 00:56:11,067 I FEEL LIKE I'M CHEWING ON OLD BAND-AIDS. 1164 00:56:11,067 --> 00:56:14,233 I TRY TO EAT THE SLOP THAT THEY GIVE ME, 1165 00:56:14,233 --> 00:56:17,400 BUT I CAN'T MANAGE MORE THAN A COUPLE BITES OF IT DOWN. 1166 00:56:17,400 --> 00:56:20,833 SO I RESORTED TO HAVING MY MOM GO BUY ME SOUP DOWNSTAIRS 1167 00:56:20,833 --> 00:56:23,133 FROM THE CAFETERIA AND ATE THAT. 1168 00:56:24,233 --> 00:56:26,067 BUT SHE STOPPED COMING AFTER YESTERDAY 1169 00:56:26,067 --> 00:56:27,500 BECAUSE SHE SAID 1170 00:56:27,500 --> 00:56:29,433 SHE WASN'T GOING TO HELP ME DO THINGS I WASN'T SUPPOSED TO. 1171 00:56:29,433 --> 00:56:31,867 BUT I DON'T KNOW WHAT SHE'S TALKING ABOUT 1172 00:56:31,867 --> 00:56:34,600 BECAUSE ALL I NEED IS BASIC FOOD. 1173 00:56:34,600 --> 00:56:37,633 [ TELEPHONE RINGS ] 1174 00:56:42,267 --> 00:56:44,233 HELLO? 1175 00:56:45,433 --> 00:56:48,300 NO, MOM, THEY HAVEN'T LET ME EAT YET. 1176 00:56:48,300 --> 00:56:52,800 THEY JUST WANT TO PUT ME THROUGH FAT-PERSON CONCENTRATION CAMP. 1177 00:56:52,800 --> 00:56:55,433 BYE, MOM. 1178 00:56:56,467 --> 00:56:59,067 SHE CAN GET TO TAKE THE DOG TO THE VET 1179 00:56:59,067 --> 00:57:03,567 BUT SHE CAN'T COME TO VISIT ME WHILE I'M IN THE HOSPITAL. 1180 00:57:05,100 --> 00:57:10,333 I'M NOT GOING TO LET MYSELF GET UPSET ABOUT IT AND CRY, 1181 00:57:10,333 --> 00:57:15,300 BECAUSE ONE DAY, SHE'S GOING TO NEED A NURSING HOME, 1182 00:57:15,300 --> 00:57:18,800 AND I'M GOING TO PICK THE MOST SKETCHY NURSING HOME I CAN FIND. 1183 00:57:18,800 --> 00:57:23,367 ** 1184 00:57:23,367 --> 00:57:24,800 HEY, KIRSTEN. 1185 00:57:24,800 --> 00:57:26,633 HOW ARE YOU TODAY? 1186 00:57:26,633 --> 00:57:27,967 NAUSEATED. 1187 00:57:27,967 --> 00:57:28,967 MM-HMM. 1188 00:57:28,967 --> 00:57:31,300 MY HEAD HURTS REALLY BAD. 1189 00:57:31,300 --> 00:57:32,333 OKAY. 1190 00:57:33,400 --> 00:57:35,567 Dr. Nowzaradan: KIRSTEN HAS BEEN HAVING TROUBLE 1191 00:57:35,567 --> 00:57:37,933 OVER THE PAST FEW DAYS. 1192 00:57:37,933 --> 00:57:41,067 SHE HAS NO TOLERANCE FOR ANY DISCOMFORT OR PAIN, 1193 00:57:41,067 --> 00:57:42,933 SO SHE'S BEEN ACTING OUT. 1194 00:57:42,933 --> 00:57:46,233 YOU'VE BEEN NAUSEATED, BUT NO VOMITING, HUH? 1195 00:57:46,233 --> 00:57:49,067 JUST, LIKE, SPITTING UP FOAM STUFF. 1196 00:57:49,067 --> 00:57:51,067 SHE'S COMPLAINING A LOT ABOUT THINGS, 1197 00:57:51,067 --> 00:57:54,067 BUT SHE'S DOING FINE. 1198 00:57:54,067 --> 00:57:55,733 SHE JUST IS VERY DRAMATIC. 1199 00:57:55,733 --> 00:57:57,233 ALL RIGHT. 1200 00:57:57,233 --> 00:57:59,300 YOUR INCISION IS LOOKING GOOD, 1201 00:57:59,300 --> 00:58:01,667 SO EVERYTHING IS PROGRESSING VERY WELL. 1202 00:58:01,667 --> 00:58:03,067 WE GOT THE HERNIA FIXED, 1203 00:58:03,067 --> 00:58:05,300 AND WE REPAIRED PART OF YOUR COLON, 1204 00:58:05,300 --> 00:58:07,067 REPAIRED PART OF STOMACH, 1205 00:58:07,067 --> 00:58:09,300 AND NATURALLY, AFTER THIS OPERATION, 1206 00:58:09,300 --> 00:58:11,067 YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO EAT VERY MUCH. 1207 00:58:11,067 --> 00:58:13,300 AND THAT'S GOING TO BE A POSITIVE THING FOR YOU 1208 00:58:13,300 --> 00:58:15,100 IN LOSING WEIGHT. 1209 00:58:16,433 --> 00:58:21,133 KIRSTEN NEEDS TO WORK ON GETTING UP AND STICKING TO THE DIET, 1210 00:58:21,133 --> 00:58:24,433 SO WE NEED TO KEEP HER MOTIVATED AND ACTIVE RIGHT NOW. 1211 00:58:24,433 --> 00:58:26,367 WE'RE GOING TO START YOU ON A SMALL AMOUNT 1212 00:58:26,367 --> 00:58:27,833 OF LIQUID TODAY AND -- 1213 00:58:27,833 --> 00:58:29,067 THANK YOU. 1214 00:58:29,067 --> 00:58:31,900 I FEEL LIKE I'M REALLY JUST GOING DOWNHILL 1215 00:58:31,900 --> 00:58:33,933 FROM NOT BEING ABLE TO EAT. 1216 00:58:33,933 --> 00:58:37,433 YOU STILL ARE OVER 500 POUNDS. 1217 00:58:37,433 --> 00:58:39,167 I KNOW. YOU STILL GOT A LOT OF THINGS. 1218 00:58:39,167 --> 00:58:42,067 AND YOU'RE GETTING YOUR I.V. FLUID, OKAY? 1219 00:58:42,067 --> 00:58:43,600 YOU'RE GOING TO GET USED TO IT. 1220 00:58:43,600 --> 00:58:45,700 I JUST MORE WANT TO BE ABLE TO DRINK WATER. 1221 00:58:45,700 --> 00:58:47,300 WE'LL GET YOU SOME LIQUID, OKAY? 1222 00:58:47,300 --> 00:58:48,767 OKAY. 1223 00:58:48,767 --> 00:58:52,167 KIRSTEN IS NOT GETTING ANY MORE FOOD RIGHT NOW 1224 00:58:52,167 --> 00:58:54,800 BECAUSE SHE DOESN'T NEED IT TO GET UP. 1225 00:58:54,800 --> 00:58:57,833 SO I'M GOING TO GIVE HER SOME OXYGEN TREATMENT 1226 00:58:57,833 --> 00:59:01,567 TO HELP HER OUT WITH THE FEELING LIKE SHE HAS MORE ENERGY. 1227 00:59:01,567 --> 00:59:03,833 I'LL SEE YOU LATER. EVERYTHING LOOKING GOOD. 1228 00:59:03,833 --> 00:59:05,833 OKAY. THANK YOU. OKAY. 1229 00:59:05,833 --> 00:59:09,433 SHE'S GOING TO HAVE TO DEAL WITH HER EMOTIONAL ISSUES 1230 00:59:09,433 --> 00:59:12,333 TO GIVE HER A BETTER OPPORTUNITY 1231 00:59:12,333 --> 00:59:14,967 TO BREAK FREE FROM HER FOOD ADDICTION. 1232 00:59:14,967 --> 00:59:16,733 Kirsten: YOU WANT TO KNOW HOW DESPERATE I GOT EARLIER 1233 00:59:16,733 --> 00:59:18,067 AND WHAT I DRANK? 1234 00:59:18,067 --> 00:59:21,633 THE WATER FROM INSIDE MY [BLEEP] BREATHING MACHINE. 1235 00:59:21,633 --> 00:59:23,533 BECAUSE I WAS THAT THIRSTY, 1236 00:59:23,533 --> 00:59:26,433 THEY WOULDN'T GIVE ME ANYTHING TO DRINK. 1237 00:59:26,433 --> 00:59:29,933 [ Voice breaking ] I'M NOT ASKING FOR [BLEEP] POP. 1238 00:59:29,933 --> 00:59:31,500 I'M ASKING FOR WATER. 1239 00:59:32,567 --> 00:59:35,567 IT'S LIKE, I DIDN'T THINK -- WE'RE IN THE UNITED STATES. 1240 00:59:35,567 --> 00:59:38,200 YOU SHOULD BE ALLOWED SOME WATER. 1241 00:59:38,200 --> 00:59:41,300 BUT KIRSTEN IS PROVING TO BE 1242 00:59:41,300 --> 00:59:43,567 A VERY DIFFICULT PATIENT RIGHT NOW. 1243 00:59:43,567 --> 00:59:45,600 HAVE YOU BEEN COUGHING UP MUCH MUCUS AT ALL TODAY? 1244 00:59:45,600 --> 00:59:47,533 NO. I'VE JUST BEEN THROWING UP MOSTLY. 1245 00:59:47,533 --> 00:59:49,133 YOU'VE BEEN THROWING UP? YEAH. 1246 00:59:49,133 --> 00:59:50,300 THEY MIGHT WANT 1247 00:59:50,300 --> 00:59:51,967 TO PRESCRIBE SOMETHING A LITTLE BIT STRONGER... 1248 00:59:51,967 --> 00:59:53,067 OKAY. 1249 00:59:53,067 --> 00:59:54,100 ...TO KEEP YOU FROM THROWING UP, OKAY? 1250 00:59:55,467 --> 00:59:56,967 ** 1251 00:59:56,967 --> 00:59:59,867 I HATE BREATHING TREATMENTS. 1252 00:59:59,867 --> 01:00:02,133 ** 1253 01:00:02,133 --> 01:00:03,867 AND I'LL ONLY KEEP IT ON HALFWAY 1254 01:00:03,867 --> 01:00:06,267 AND THROW IT OFF WHEN THEY'RE NOT LOOKING. 1255 01:00:06,267 --> 01:00:07,533 I ALREADY THREW IT OFF. 1256 01:00:07,533 --> 01:00:09,067 WHY'D YOU THROW IT OFF, MISS? 1257 01:00:09,067 --> 01:00:10,733 BECAUSE THEY'RE THAT GROSS-TASTING TO ME 1258 01:00:10,733 --> 01:00:13,900 THAT I FEEL REALLY NAUSEATED RIGHT NOW, BAD. 1259 01:00:13,900 --> 01:00:15,733 ALL RIGHT. 1260 01:00:15,733 --> 01:00:18,733 I'M JUST TOTALLY ANXIETIED OUT, I'M FRUSTRATED, 1261 01:00:18,733 --> 01:00:22,467 I'M JUST TIRED OF BEING HERE. 1262 01:00:22,467 --> 01:00:24,067 [ Voice breaking ] I JUST WANT TO GO TO SLEEP 1263 01:00:24,067 --> 01:00:25,200 AND NOT WAKE UP. 1264 01:00:25,200 --> 01:00:26,633 DON'T SAY THAT. 1265 01:00:26,633 --> 01:00:29,567 THEY'RE NEVER GONNA LET ME HOME. 1266 01:00:29,567 --> 01:00:33,267 ** 1267 01:00:38,800 --> 01:00:40,067 [ COUGHS ] 1268 01:00:40,067 --> 01:00:43,567 I MIGHT HAVE SAID SOMETHING TO ONE OF THE NURSES 1269 01:00:43,567 --> 01:00:47,467 THAT I WISH I WAS DEAD BECAUSE I FELT LIKE [BLEEP] 1270 01:00:47,467 --> 01:00:50,133 AND NOW I'M ON SUICIDE WATCH. 1271 01:00:50,133 --> 01:00:52,700 IT IS SO STUPID. 1272 01:00:53,733 --> 01:00:54,933 HELLO. 1273 01:00:54,933 --> 01:00:57,100 Kirsten: HELLO. 1274 01:00:57,100 --> 01:00:58,900 KIRSTEN, HOW ARE YOU DOING? 1275 01:00:58,900 --> 01:01:00,567 I DON'T FEEL VERY GOOD. 1276 01:01:00,567 --> 01:01:03,467 IS THAT PSYCHIATRIST, DR. MERKL, 1277 01:01:03,467 --> 01:01:05,100 COMING TO SEE YOU? 1278 01:01:05,100 --> 01:01:10,367 HE SAID THAT HE THINKS THAT I'M EXTREMELY ANXIETIED OUT, 1279 01:01:10,367 --> 01:01:13,533 I GUESS, AND THAT THEY THOUGHT 1280 01:01:13,533 --> 01:01:17,100 THAT IF I COULD GET UP ON THE DIET, 1281 01:01:17,100 --> 01:01:19,500 MAYBE THAT WOULD HELP, INSTEAD OF THE LIQUID. 1282 01:01:19,500 --> 01:01:20,500 MM-HMM. 1283 01:01:20,500 --> 01:01:22,567 ARE YOU STILL MAKING THOSE COMMENTS 1284 01:01:22,567 --> 01:01:24,933 THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO LIVE AND ALL THAT? 1285 01:01:24,933 --> 01:01:26,500 NO, THANK YOU VERY MUCH. 1286 01:01:26,500 --> 01:01:27,700 THAT'S WHEN THEY CAME IN 1287 01:01:27,700 --> 01:01:29,267 AND TOLD ME I WAS ON SUICIDE WATCH. 1288 01:01:29,267 --> 01:01:32,567 THEY WERE CONCERNED BECAUSE, YOU KNOW, YOU SAID, 1289 01:01:32,567 --> 01:01:35,600 "IF I GO TO SLEEP, I'D RATHER NOT WAKE UP," 1290 01:01:35,600 --> 01:01:37,233 OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT. 1291 01:01:37,233 --> 01:01:39,600 YEAH, WELL, SOMETIMES, LIKE, YEAH, I DO THINK THAT SOMETIMES, 1292 01:01:39,600 --> 01:01:41,767 LIKE, I WISH I WOULD GO TO SLEEP AND NOT WAKE UP, LIKE, 1293 01:01:41,767 --> 01:01:43,067 WHEN I'M HAVING A BAD DAY, 1294 01:01:43,067 --> 01:01:45,067 BUT IT DOESN'T MEAN I WOULD GO KILL MYSELF, YOU KNOW? 1295 01:01:45,067 --> 01:01:49,800 LIKE, I THINK EVERYBODY AT ONE POINT HAS THAT THOUGHT. 1296 01:01:49,800 --> 01:01:51,400 I DON'T THINK SO. [ LAUGHS ] 1297 01:01:51,400 --> 01:01:53,067 WELL, MY FAMILY HAS IT ALL THE TIME. 1298 01:01:54,133 --> 01:01:57,067 EVEN THOUGH KIRSTEN SAYS SHE WAS JOKING, 1299 01:01:57,067 --> 01:01:59,400 WE CAN'T TAKE ANY CHANCES, 1300 01:01:59,400 --> 01:02:02,800 SO I'M KEEPING HER ON SUICIDE WATCH FOR NOW. 1301 01:02:02,800 --> 01:02:04,567 WE HAVE A PSYCHIATRIST. 1302 01:02:04,567 --> 01:02:07,567 I'M ORDERING TO SEE HIM FOR DEPRESSION. 1303 01:02:07,567 --> 01:02:10,700 SO, WE NEED TO WATCH AND MAKE SURE SHE'S GOING TO BE OKAY. 1304 01:02:10,700 --> 01:02:12,300 HAVE YOU BEEN UP WALKING? 1305 01:02:12,300 --> 01:02:15,067 NO. WE'RE GONNA START TOMORROW. 1306 01:02:15,067 --> 01:02:16,633 WHAT IS THE PROBLEM TODAY 1307 01:02:16,633 --> 01:02:18,833 THAT WE CAN'T START TO DO THAT TODAY? 1308 01:02:18,833 --> 01:02:21,833 IF THE NURSES WILL COME WALK WITH ME, THEN I'LL WALK. 1309 01:02:21,833 --> 01:02:25,200 SO, YOU REALLY NEED SOME HELP TO GET UP AND WALK? 1310 01:02:25,200 --> 01:02:28,967 NO, BUT I THOUGHT THAT I NEEDED SOMEONE TO WALK WITH ME. 1311 01:02:28,967 --> 01:02:30,600 BUT I THINK IF THEY WOULD LET ME HAVE 1312 01:02:30,600 --> 01:02:31,833 HALF OF A TURKEY SANDWICH, 1313 01:02:31,833 --> 01:02:34,133 I THINK I'D FEEL A LOT BETTER. 1314 01:02:34,133 --> 01:02:38,667 MY BIGGEST CONCERN IS HER PATHOLOGY TO EAT RIGHT NOW. 1315 01:02:38,667 --> 01:02:41,133 IF WE SEND KIRSTEN HOME, I'M PRETTY SURE 1316 01:02:41,133 --> 01:02:44,133 SHE'S GOING TO EAT EVERYTHING AND ANYTHING SHE CAN. 1317 01:02:44,133 --> 01:02:48,100 SO, WE NEED TO PROTECT KIRSTEN AGAINST HERSELF 1318 01:02:48,100 --> 01:02:51,867 AND KEEP HER IN THE HOSPITAL ON A CONTROLLED DIET. 1319 01:02:51,867 --> 01:02:54,567 SHE CAN GO HOME ONCE I FEEL 1320 01:02:54,567 --> 01:02:58,567 THAT SHE HAS MORE CONTROL OVER HERSELF AND HER BEHAVIOR. 1321 01:02:58,567 --> 01:03:01,067 HOW LONG UNTIL I GET TO GO HOME? 1322 01:03:01,067 --> 01:03:02,333 NOT FOR A WHILE. 1323 01:03:02,333 --> 01:03:05,733 YOU NEED TO FOCUS ON MAKING SOME PROGRESS FIRST. 1324 01:03:05,733 --> 01:03:08,267 WE'LL MAKE CHANGES IN YOUR DIET 1325 01:03:08,267 --> 01:03:10,467 AND GET YOU UP AND WALKING 1326 01:03:10,467 --> 01:03:13,167 AND SEE HOW EVERYTHING GOES, OKAY? 1327 01:03:13,167 --> 01:03:14,467 OKAY. THANK YOU. OKAY. 1328 01:03:14,467 --> 01:03:16,300 THANK YOU FOR FIXING MY BIG HERNIA. 1329 01:03:16,300 --> 01:03:17,300 ALL RIGHT. 1330 01:03:17,300 --> 01:03:19,667 SEE YOU SOON, KIRSTEN. 1331 01:03:19,667 --> 01:03:22,700 Kirsten: I REALLY HATE THIS A LOT. 1332 01:03:24,100 --> 01:03:26,300 I CAN'T STAY HERE LIKE THIS MUCH LONGER. 1333 01:03:26,300 --> 01:03:28,533 WHAT THEY'RE GIVING ME HERE IS NOT FOOD, 1334 01:03:28,533 --> 01:03:29,867 AND IT'S STARVING ME TO DEATH. 1335 01:03:29,867 --> 01:03:30,467 ** 1336 01:03:36,500 --> 01:03:40,633 ** 1337 01:03:45,333 --> 01:03:47,433 [ KIRSTEN COUGHS ] 1338 01:03:49,867 --> 01:03:53,767 Kirsten: FEELS LIKE I'VE BEEN TRAPPED IN THIS PLACE FOREVER. 1339 01:03:53,767 --> 01:03:57,533 I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND SLEEP IN MY OWN BED... 1340 01:03:57,533 --> 01:03:59,833 AND PUKE IN MY OWN BUCKET. 1341 01:03:59,833 --> 01:04:02,533 HELLO. HOW Y'ALL DOING? 1342 01:04:02,533 --> 01:04:04,700 HELLO. ALL RIGHT. 1343 01:04:04,700 --> 01:04:06,867 SO, TODAY, WE'RE GOING TO SEND YOU HOME. 1344 01:04:06,867 --> 01:04:07,900 OKAY. 1345 01:04:07,900 --> 01:04:09,800 AND YOU STAY ON A LIQUID DIET. 1346 01:04:09,800 --> 01:04:11,167 OKAY. 1347 01:04:11,167 --> 01:04:14,267 YOU CAN HAVE ALL THE LIQUID THAT ARE NOT SUGARY, OKAY? 1348 01:04:14,267 --> 01:04:15,867 OKAY. 1349 01:04:15,867 --> 01:04:18,367 Dr. Nowzaradan: WE HAD KIRSTEN ON A CONTROLLED DIET 1350 01:04:18,367 --> 01:04:21,900 HERE IN THE HOSPITAL FOR A COUPLE MONTHS NOW. 1351 01:04:21,900 --> 01:04:26,133 PSYCHIATRISTS SAW HER AFTER WE PUT HER ON A SUICIDE WATCH 1352 01:04:26,133 --> 01:04:29,733 AND DETERMINED THAT SHE'S NO THREAT TO HERSELF, 1353 01:04:29,733 --> 01:04:33,067 BUT HER ATTITUDE STILL HASN'T IMPROVED A LOT. 1354 01:04:33,067 --> 01:04:35,233 YOU DO HAVE A SMALLER STOMACH NOW 1355 01:04:35,233 --> 01:04:37,533 BECAUSE OF THE REPAIR WE DID ON YOUR STOMACH. 1356 01:04:37,533 --> 01:04:38,600 OKAY. 1357 01:04:38,600 --> 01:04:40,533 BUT IT'S NOT LIKE A GASTRIC SLEEVE, 1358 01:04:40,533 --> 01:04:42,767 BUT IT'S GONNA BE MUCH EASIER 1359 01:04:42,767 --> 01:04:45,167 FOR YOU TO CONTROL YOUR EATING HABITS. 1360 01:04:45,167 --> 01:04:46,167 OKAY. 1361 01:04:46,167 --> 01:04:48,067 AND YOU'RE GOING TO BE ABLE 1362 01:04:48,067 --> 01:04:50,667 TO LOSE BETWEEN 20 TO 30 POUNDS IN A MONTH. 1363 01:04:51,700 --> 01:04:55,367 WE HAVE BEEN ABLE TO GET HER WEIGHT DOWN A GOOD BIT, 1364 01:04:55,367 --> 01:04:59,300 BUT THE NEXT STEP WILL BE TO SEE A THERAPIST IMMEDIATELY 1365 01:04:59,300 --> 01:05:02,067 BECAUSE SHE HAS TO START MAKING CONNECTIONS 1366 01:05:02,067 --> 01:05:05,400 BETWEEN HER EMOTIONS AND HER HUNGER. 1367 01:05:05,400 --> 01:05:09,467 BUT WE'RE GOING TO NEED TO PUSH HER TO DO THIS NOW 1368 01:05:09,467 --> 01:05:12,233 BEFORE SHE STARTS TO GAIN AGAIN. 1369 01:05:12,233 --> 01:05:14,533 I JUST HOPE SHE FOLLOWS THROUGH. 1370 01:05:14,533 --> 01:05:18,067 AND YOU HAD SOME ISSUES WITH ANXIETY 1371 01:05:18,067 --> 01:05:21,733 AND SOME ISSUE WITH A SUICIDAL GESTURE 1372 01:05:21,733 --> 01:05:24,167 THAT MADE EVERYBODY GET NERVOUS ABOUT IT, 1373 01:05:24,167 --> 01:05:26,667 SO WE'LL SET YOU UP TO SEE A THERAPIST 1374 01:05:26,667 --> 01:05:29,633 AND MAKE SURE THAT YOU GET EVERYTHING IN ORDER, HUH? 1375 01:05:29,633 --> 01:05:30,833 OKAY. ALL RIGHT? 1376 01:05:30,833 --> 01:05:32,833 LET ME GET YOUR WEIGHT CHECKED 1377 01:05:32,833 --> 01:05:35,100 AND WE'LL GO FROM THERE, OKAY? 1378 01:05:35,100 --> 01:05:37,833 ALL RIGHT. 1379 01:05:37,833 --> 01:05:41,300 ** 1380 01:05:43,867 --> 01:05:46,667 502. THAT'S GOOD. 1381 01:05:46,667 --> 01:05:49,667 ** 1382 01:05:49,667 --> 01:05:53,067 SO, YOU LOST ANOTHER 51 POUNDS SINCE YOU'VE BEEN HERE, 1383 01:05:53,067 --> 01:05:55,133 AND BY THE TIME I SEE YOU IN THE OFFICE, 1384 01:05:55,133 --> 01:05:56,733 YOU'RE GOING TO BE UNDER 500. 1385 01:05:56,733 --> 01:05:57,800 OKAY. OKAY? 1386 01:05:57,800 --> 01:05:59,433 ALL RIGHT. THAT'S GOING TO BE GREAT. 1387 01:05:59,433 --> 01:06:00,567 THANK YOU. OKAY. 1388 01:06:00,567 --> 01:06:01,567 I'LL SEE YOU LATER. 1389 01:06:01,567 --> 01:06:05,133 ** 1390 01:06:05,133 --> 01:06:09,333 Kirsten: I JUST CAN'T WAIT TO GET THE HECK OUT OF HERE. 1391 01:06:09,333 --> 01:06:12,500 I AM JUST SO OVER THIS PLACE AND READY TO BE ON MY OWN, 1392 01:06:12,500 --> 01:06:14,500 DOING THINGS MY OWN WAY. 1393 01:06:14,500 --> 01:06:16,267 I TRIED TO TELL EVERYBODY 1394 01:06:16,267 --> 01:06:18,900 I COULD DO SO MUCH BETTER ON MY OWN, 1395 01:06:18,900 --> 01:06:22,900 SO I'LL SHOW THEM IT WAS STUPID TO KEEP ME HERE LIKE THEY DID. 1396 01:06:22,900 --> 01:06:25,133 ** 1397 01:06:29,333 --> 01:06:31,167 Kirsten: MOM, DO YOU THINK I COULD GET 1398 01:06:31,167 --> 01:06:33,067 SOME MASHED POTATOES TO EAT? 1399 01:06:33,067 --> 01:06:34,500 OKAY. 1400 01:06:35,533 --> 01:06:40,100 IT WAS SO NICE GETTING HOME, AND MY MOM'S BEEN HELPING ME 1401 01:06:40,100 --> 01:06:42,800 BY GETTING MY FOOD AND ME STUFF TO DRINK. 1402 01:06:42,800 --> 01:06:44,300 THANK YOU. ANYTHING TO DRINK? 1403 01:06:44,300 --> 01:06:46,067 YEAH, WILL YOU GET ME SOME MORE... 1404 01:06:46,067 --> 01:06:47,267 SOME GINGER ALE? YEAH. 1405 01:06:48,300 --> 01:06:51,433 I'M BEING GOOD, MOSTLY BECAUSE IF I EAT WHAT I SHOULDN'T, 1406 01:06:51,433 --> 01:06:53,667 I GET REALLY SICK. 1407 01:06:53,667 --> 01:06:55,667 THEY DIDN'T DO AS MUCH 1408 01:06:55,667 --> 01:06:57,967 AS WHAT THEY WOULD'VE DONE IN A GASTRIC BYPASS, 1409 01:06:57,967 --> 01:07:00,467 BUT I CAN TELL A DIFFERENCE. 1410 01:07:00,467 --> 01:07:05,067 I'M EATING WAY LESS, BUT I'M HUNGRY A LOT MORE OFTEN. 1411 01:07:05,067 --> 01:07:07,800 I CAN BARELY GET A WHOLE YOGURT DOWN. 1412 01:07:08,767 --> 01:07:11,367 Cris: I KNOW THAT SOMETIMES IT'S HARD FOR HER TO EAT, 1413 01:07:11,367 --> 01:07:15,367 BUT SHE'S EATEN WHAT I'VE GIVEN HER, SO I THINK SHE'S OKAY. 1414 01:07:15,367 --> 01:07:18,867 BUT SHE'S REALLY NOT WANTING TO GET UP AND MOVE. 1415 01:07:18,867 --> 01:07:21,200 MY LEGS ARE FREAKING KILLING ME. 1416 01:07:21,200 --> 01:07:23,400 THEY FEEL LIKE MY SKIN'S GONNA TEAR. 1417 01:07:24,933 --> 01:07:28,200 I KNOW I'M SUPPOSED TO BE GETTING UP AND WALKING AROUND, 1418 01:07:28,200 --> 01:07:30,733 BUT I'VE BEEN GOING TO THE BATHROOM A LOT. 1419 01:07:30,733 --> 01:07:33,367 SO I'M COUNTING THAT AS WALKING. 1420 01:07:33,367 --> 01:07:34,600 [ GRUNTS ] 1421 01:07:34,600 --> 01:07:37,400 Cris: I THINK THAT SHE DOES NEED TO SEE A THERAPIST 1422 01:07:37,400 --> 01:07:39,833 BECAUSE I KNOW THAT SHE'S DEPRESSED, 1423 01:07:39,833 --> 01:07:43,700 AND THAT'S PART OF WHY SHE DOESN'T WANT TO DO ANYTHING. 1424 01:07:45,233 --> 01:07:48,067 Kirsten: I DON'T REALLY SEE HOW A THERAPIST 1425 01:07:48,067 --> 01:07:50,767 IS GOING TO HELP ME WITH MY WEIGHT AT ALL. 1426 01:07:50,767 --> 01:07:53,133 THAT'S WHY I GOT WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY. 1427 01:07:53,133 --> 01:07:56,400 IF I NEEDED A THERAPIST, I COULD'VE GONE TO THEM FIRST. 1428 01:07:56,400 --> 01:07:59,300 ** 1429 01:08:06,700 --> 01:08:10,267 TODAY, I'M GOING TO GO SEE THE DOCTOR FOR MY POST-OP. 1430 01:08:10,267 --> 01:08:13,300 I HAVEN'T LOST ANY WEIGHT. I KNOW I HAVEN'T. 1431 01:08:13,300 --> 01:08:15,067 I ALREADY KNOW THE SCALE'S GONNA SAY 1432 01:08:15,067 --> 01:08:16,300 THAT I DIDN'T LOSE ANY WEIGHT 1433 01:08:16,300 --> 01:08:18,167 BECAUSE MY LEGS ARE JUST TOO SWOLLEN UP. 1434 01:08:18,167 --> 01:08:20,533 Kirsten: I'M GOING TO HAVE TO SIT HERE FOR A MINUTE 1435 01:08:20,533 --> 01:08:22,900 BEFORE MY LEG GETS -- IT'S ASLEEP. 1436 01:08:24,433 --> 01:08:27,133 I'M WORKING ON IT. 1437 01:08:27,133 --> 01:08:29,900 I'M SO SWOLLEN RIGHT NOW, I CAN BARELY WALK. 1438 01:08:29,900 --> 01:08:31,467 Woman: KIRSTEN PEREZ? 1439 01:08:31,467 --> 01:08:33,800 AND I FEEL LIKE I'VE LOST WEIGHT, 1440 01:08:33,800 --> 01:08:36,633 BUT MY WATER RETENTION IS SO BAD RIGHT NOW 1441 01:08:36,633 --> 01:08:38,967 THAT THERE'S NO WAY I'M GOING TO SHOW THAT 1442 01:08:38,967 --> 01:08:40,800 ON THE SCALE. 1443 01:08:40,800 --> 01:08:42,433 [ PANTING ] 1444 01:08:43,467 --> 01:08:44,733 507. 1445 01:08:46,267 --> 01:08:48,500 [ GRUNTS ] 1446 01:08:50,433 --> 01:08:52,800 I'M HAPPY RIGHT NOW. 1447 01:08:52,800 --> 01:08:55,900 I'M NOT SURE WHAT DR. NOW WILL THINK ABOUT MY WEIGHT LOSS. 1448 01:08:55,900 --> 01:08:59,900 HE WAS HOPING THAT I'D BE UNDER 500. 1449 01:08:59,900 --> 01:09:03,267 BUT I'M HAPPY WITH THAT. 1450 01:09:03,267 --> 01:09:05,500 Cris: JUST THINK IF ALL THAT SWELLING WENT AWAY, 1451 01:09:05,500 --> 01:09:07,067 YOU'D BE -- I'D BE WAY UNDER. 1452 01:09:07,067 --> 01:09:08,433 WAY UNDER. YOU WOULD BE. 1453 01:09:08,433 --> 01:09:09,433 I KNOW IT. 1454 01:09:09,433 --> 01:09:11,100 HELLO. HELLO. 1455 01:09:11,100 --> 01:09:12,833 HOW YOU ALL DOING? 1456 01:09:12,833 --> 01:09:14,067 FINE. 1457 01:09:14,067 --> 01:09:17,833 HOW IS EVERYTHING GOING WITH YOU AFTER SURGERY? 1458 01:09:17,833 --> 01:09:18,967 FINE. 1459 01:09:18,967 --> 01:09:22,533 I'M NOT AS -- I'M NOT GETTING SICK ANYMORE. 1460 01:09:22,533 --> 01:09:26,667 OKAY, BUT YOU'RE DOWN TO 507 POUNDS. 1461 01:09:26,667 --> 01:09:30,533 YOU REALIZE YOU WERE 502 WHEN YOU LEFT THE HOSPITAL. 1462 01:09:30,533 --> 01:09:31,567 YES. 1463 01:09:31,567 --> 01:09:33,800 AND YOU STILL HAD ABOUT 20 POUNDS 1464 01:09:33,800 --> 01:09:36,200 OF FLUID IN YOU AT THAT TIME. 1465 01:09:36,200 --> 01:09:37,200 YEAH. 1466 01:09:37,200 --> 01:09:39,733 THE SWELLING AND FLUID HAS PASSED, 1467 01:09:39,733 --> 01:09:42,733 SO YOU HAVE ACTUALLY GAINED AROUND 20 POUNDS 1468 01:09:42,733 --> 01:09:44,833 SINCE YOU LEFT THE HOSPITAL. 1469 01:09:44,833 --> 01:09:47,200 THIS IS NOT A GOOD SITUATION AT ALL. 1470 01:09:47,200 --> 01:09:49,967 I'M REALLY DISAPPOINTED RIGHT NOW, KIRSTEN. 1471 01:09:51,067 --> 01:09:54,200 I'M VERY CONCERNED FOR KIRSTEN RIGHT NOW. 1472 01:09:54,200 --> 01:09:56,867 I ARRANGED FOR HER TO START THERAPY, 1473 01:09:56,867 --> 01:09:58,400 BUT SHE HAS NOT GONE. 1474 01:09:58,400 --> 01:10:01,800 AND SHE MISSED HER LAST APPOINTMENT A MONTH AGO 1475 01:10:01,800 --> 01:10:04,700 BECAUSE SHE SAID SHE DOESN'T FEEL WELL. 1476 01:10:04,700 --> 01:10:06,767 SO, SHE NEEDS A WAKE-UP CALL RIGHT NOW. 1477 01:10:06,767 --> 01:10:10,000 I'M TRYING MY HARDEST. I REALLY AM. 1478 01:10:10,000 --> 01:10:11,200 LET ME BE CLEAR. 1479 01:10:11,200 --> 01:10:13,033 YOU GO TO A THERAPIST 1480 01:10:13,033 --> 01:10:15,767 OR THERE IS NOTHING MORE I CAN DO FOR YOU, 1481 01:10:15,767 --> 01:10:18,600 AND OUTSIDE OF A MEDICAL EMERGENCY, 1482 01:10:18,600 --> 01:10:19,700 WE ARE DONE. 1483 01:10:19,700 --> 01:10:21,533 DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME? 1484 01:10:21,533 --> 01:10:23,433 MM-HMM. ALL RIGHT. 1485 01:10:23,433 --> 01:10:26,400 TAKE CARE. 1486 01:10:28,400 --> 01:10:30,233 Kirsten: I DON'T WANT TO LOSE HIS HELP, 1487 01:10:30,233 --> 01:10:31,667 BUT IT FEELS LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE 1488 01:10:31,667 --> 01:10:32,433 THINKS THEY KNOW WHAT'S BEST FOR ME. 1489 01:10:38,600 --> 01:10:42,300 ** 1490 01:10:55,967 --> 01:10:58,767 Kirsten: TODAY, I'M GOING TO SEE THE THERAPIST 1491 01:10:58,767 --> 01:11:00,333 DR. NOW WANTS ME TO SEE. 1492 01:11:00,333 --> 01:11:02,333 ** 1493 01:11:02,333 --> 01:11:05,767 I KNOW I LET MY EMOTIONS GET OUT OF CONTROL, 1494 01:11:05,767 --> 01:11:08,333 BUT THAT'S JUST THE WAY I AM. 1495 01:11:08,333 --> 01:11:10,067 ** 1496 01:11:10,067 --> 01:11:13,500 A THERAPIST CAN'T REALLY DO ANYTHING TO CHANGE THAT. 1497 01:11:13,500 --> 01:11:15,833 KIRSTEN, WE CAN COME RIGHT ON BACK. 1498 01:11:15,833 --> 01:11:18,367 SO, I JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT TO EXPECT TODAY. 1499 01:11:18,367 --> 01:11:19,367 OKAY. 1500 01:11:19,367 --> 01:11:21,933 HELLO, KIRSTEN. 1501 01:11:21,933 --> 01:11:22,967 HOW ARE YOU TODAY? 1502 01:11:22,967 --> 01:11:24,267 I'M DOING OKAY. 1503 01:11:24,267 --> 01:11:27,200 SO, TELL ME WHY YOU'RE HERE AT THIS POINT IN TIME. 1504 01:11:27,200 --> 01:11:29,067 WELL, I WAS HAVING A LOT OF ANXIETY. 1505 01:11:29,067 --> 01:11:30,267 MM-HMM. 1506 01:11:30,267 --> 01:11:33,533 AND DR. NOWZARADAN THOUGHT THAT IT WOULD BE BENEFICIAL 1507 01:11:33,533 --> 01:11:35,333 IF I SAW A THERAPIST. 1508 01:11:35,333 --> 01:11:37,933 DO YOU HAVE A HISTORY OF ANXIETY? 1509 01:11:37,933 --> 01:11:39,900 I HAVE A HISTORY OF DEPRESSION. 1510 01:11:39,900 --> 01:11:41,933 SO, KIRSTEN, TELL ME A LITTLE BIT 1511 01:11:41,933 --> 01:11:44,533 ABOUT THE WAY YOU GREW UP. 1512 01:11:44,533 --> 01:11:46,800 WHEN I GOT INTO HIGH SCHOOL, I GOT INTO IT WITH THE WRONG CROWD 1513 01:11:46,800 --> 01:11:51,400 AND STARTED USING DRUGS. 1514 01:11:51,400 --> 01:11:54,067 AND WHEN I WAS LIKE 17, I MOVED OUT. 1515 01:11:54,067 --> 01:11:57,767 I JUST TOOK OFF AND DID WHATEVER I WANTED TO DO. 1516 01:11:57,767 --> 01:11:59,233 SO, SOMEWHERE IN THAT, 1517 01:11:59,233 --> 01:12:01,433 A FOOD ADDICTION BEGAN FOR YOU. 1518 01:12:01,433 --> 01:12:07,700 WHAT LED TO THE SIGNIFICANT WEIGHT GAIN IN YOUR LIFE? 1519 01:12:09,233 --> 01:12:11,733 I DON'T LIKE TO TALK ABOUT IT. 1520 01:12:11,733 --> 01:12:14,667 I'VE BEEN... 1521 01:12:14,667 --> 01:12:15,867 RAPED A FEW TIMES, 1522 01:12:15,867 --> 01:12:18,567 AND I PUT MYSELF IN THOSE SITUATIONS, SO... 1523 01:12:18,567 --> 01:12:19,633 HOLD ON. 1524 01:12:19,633 --> 01:12:21,200 [ CHUCKLES ] 1525 01:12:21,200 --> 01:12:23,067 YOU SAID YOU'VE BEEN RAPED A FEW TIMES? 1526 01:12:23,067 --> 01:12:24,767 I DON'T LIKE TO TALK ABOUT THAT STUFF. 1527 01:12:24,767 --> 01:12:26,600 IT'S OVER WITH. IT WAS A VERY LONG TIME AGO. 1528 01:12:26,600 --> 01:12:29,667 THE REASON YOU DON'T LIKE TO TALK ABOUT IT 1529 01:12:29,667 --> 01:12:32,633 IS BECAUSE IT'S A REALLY DIFFICULT PLACE 1530 01:12:32,633 --> 01:12:36,167 TO PUT YOURSELF IN, MEMORY-WISE, TO GO BACK THERE, 1531 01:12:36,167 --> 01:12:38,500 BUT YOU ALSO DON'T LIKE TO TALK ABOUT IT 1532 01:12:38,500 --> 01:12:40,100 BECAUSE OF THE WAY 1533 01:12:40,100 --> 01:12:43,667 YOU'VE WRITTEN THIS NARRATIVE IN YOUR MIND, 1534 01:12:43,667 --> 01:12:49,067 WHERE SOMEHOW, YOU'RE JUST AS CULPABLE AS THE PERPETRATORS, 1535 01:12:49,067 --> 01:12:50,600 AND YOU'RE NOT. 1536 01:12:50,600 --> 01:12:55,633 YOU HAVE TO LET GO OF FEELING ANY RESPONSIBILITY, 1537 01:12:55,633 --> 01:12:59,067 SAYING THAT YOU PUT YOURSELF IN THAT SITUATION. 1538 01:12:59,067 --> 01:13:03,100 SOME OF THE TRAUMA YOU'VE EXPERIENCED IN YOUR LIFE -- 1539 01:13:03,100 --> 01:13:09,467 BEING BRUTALLY GANG-RAPED, BEING ADDICTED TO DRUGS, 1540 01:13:09,467 --> 01:13:13,800 BEING ISOLATED FROM THE WORLD, ALL OF THAT -- 1541 01:13:13,800 --> 01:13:18,067 THAT CONTRIBUTES TO YOUR DEPRESSIVE EPISODES 1542 01:13:18,067 --> 01:13:20,467 BECAUSE YOU'RE ONLY HUMAN. 1543 01:13:20,467 --> 01:13:23,900 AND SO, NOT ONLY WERE YOU EATING TO SUPPRESS 1544 01:13:23,900 --> 01:13:27,133 AND COVER UP ALL THOSE NEGATIVE FEELINGS, 1545 01:13:27,133 --> 01:13:30,067 YOU WERE ALSO EATING AWAY YOUR PAIN. 1546 01:13:30,067 --> 01:13:32,467 DIDN'T DO ME ANY GOOD TO DO IT. 1547 01:13:32,467 --> 01:13:36,533 I'M STILL FEELING THE SAME FEELINGS THAT I FELT EATING IT. 1548 01:13:36,533 --> 01:13:39,833 NOW YOU'RE READY TO DEAL WITH THOSE FEELINGS. 1549 01:13:39,833 --> 01:13:44,267 IT'S IMPORTANT THAT YOU SKEW YOUR THINKING 1550 01:13:44,267 --> 01:13:49,633 TOWARDS THE POSITIVE -- WHAT IS WORKING IN YOUR LIFE. 1551 01:13:49,633 --> 01:13:53,300 I JUST TELL MYSELF THAT IN... 1552 01:13:53,300 --> 01:13:54,767 LIKE SEVEN MORE MONTHS, 1553 01:13:54,767 --> 01:13:57,133 I'LL BE, LIKE, HALF THE SIZE I AM NOW 1554 01:13:57,133 --> 01:14:00,700 AND THAT I'LL BE ABLE TO GO DO STUFF 1555 01:14:00,700 --> 01:14:03,533 THAT I HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO DO IN LIKE 10 YEARS. 1556 01:14:03,533 --> 01:14:06,200 I'D LIKE FOR YOU TO REPEAT AFTER ME. 1557 01:14:06,200 --> 01:14:07,400 I WILL NOT... 1558 01:14:07,400 --> 01:14:08,633 I WILL NOT... 1559 01:14:08,633 --> 01:14:10,233 ...ABUSE MY BODY... 1560 01:14:10,233 --> 01:14:11,867 ...ABUSE MY BODY... 1561 01:14:11,867 --> 01:14:13,600 ...WITH FOOD... ...WITH FOOD... 1562 01:14:13,600 --> 01:14:14,733 ...AND ABOVE ALL ELSE... 1563 01:14:14,733 --> 01:14:15,867 ...AND ABOVE ALL ELSE... 1564 01:14:15,867 --> 01:14:17,067 ...I WILL LOVE... 1565 01:14:17,067 --> 01:14:18,133 ...I WILL LOVE... 1566 01:14:18,133 --> 01:14:19,533 ...AND RESPECT MYSELF. 1567 01:14:19,533 --> 01:14:21,833 ...AND RESPECT MYSELF. [ SNIFFLES ] 1568 01:14:22,867 --> 01:14:26,300 AND IT'S NOT THAT HARD IF YOU REALLY WANT IT, I GUESS. 1569 01:14:26,300 --> 01:14:28,900 IF YOU'RE WORTH IT, 1570 01:14:28,900 --> 01:14:30,900 YOU CAN'T LET YOURSELF SIT THERE AND DIE. 1571 01:14:30,900 --> 01:14:33,367 OKAY. YOU'RE WORTH IT. 1572 01:14:33,367 --> 01:14:35,967 YOU'RE REALLY COURAGEOUS, KIRSTEN. 1573 01:14:35,967 --> 01:14:39,067 THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BEING SO OPEN AND FORTHCOMING, 1574 01:14:39,067 --> 01:14:41,533 AND I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE YOU AGAIN. 1575 01:14:41,533 --> 01:14:43,067 OKAY. 1576 01:14:43,067 --> 01:14:45,300 OKAY. 1577 01:14:45,300 --> 01:14:46,700 [ PANTING ] 1578 01:14:46,700 --> 01:14:48,433 THAT WAS TOUGH. 1579 01:14:48,433 --> 01:14:51,900 I'VE NEVER BEEN ABLE TO TALK LIKE THAT. 1580 01:14:51,900 --> 01:14:55,700 BUT IT FELT GOOD TO SAY A LOT OF WHAT I DID. 1581 01:14:55,700 --> 01:14:57,233 ** 1582 01:14:57,233 --> 01:15:02,733 I ALWAYS FELT LIKE I WASN'T GOOD ENOUGH, AND I STILL DON'T. 1583 01:15:02,733 --> 01:15:04,600 BUT I FEEL LIKE I GOT A GLIMPSE 1584 01:15:04,600 --> 01:15:06,767 AT THE PERSON I CAN BECOME TODAY. 1585 01:15:06,767 --> 01:15:10,167 AND THAT'S ENOUGH FOR ME TO TRY RIGHT NOW. 1586 01:15:10,167 --> 01:15:12,933 ** 1587 01:15:19,900 --> 01:15:22,300 ** 1588 01:15:23,333 --> 01:15:27,167 I THINK I'VE BEEN MAKING GOOD PROGRESS OVER THE LAST MONTH. 1589 01:15:27,167 --> 01:15:32,533 I NOTICED THAT THE ROLLS ON MY BACK ARE WAY SMALLER, 1590 01:15:32,533 --> 01:15:35,567 AND I'M NOT HAVING AS MUCH DIFFICULTY BRUSHING MY HAIR. 1591 01:15:35,567 --> 01:15:38,067 I MEAN, IT FEELS GOOD THAT I CAN PUT IT UP. 1592 01:15:38,067 --> 01:15:39,633 LIKE, I'M NOT OUT OF BREATH. 1593 01:15:39,633 --> 01:15:42,133 ** 1594 01:15:42,133 --> 01:15:44,467 I'M FEELING A LOT HEALTHIER, 1595 01:15:44,467 --> 01:15:48,233 AND SO, I'M TRYING TO BE ACTIVE AND DO MORE. 1596 01:15:48,233 --> 01:15:51,067 SO, ARE YOU FEELING ANY BETTER? 1597 01:15:51,067 --> 01:15:53,833 I'M NOT FEELING SO GOOD TODAY. 1598 01:15:53,833 --> 01:15:56,167 THEN I'LL MAKE US SOME SCRAMBLED EGGS. 1599 01:15:56,167 --> 01:15:59,167 MY MOM HAS TAKEN CARE OF ME FOR THE PAST FEW MONTHS 1600 01:15:59,167 --> 01:16:01,667 AND HAD TO DO EVERYTHING FOR ME. 1601 01:16:01,667 --> 01:16:04,533 BUT SHE'S SICK TODAY, SO I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE 1602 01:16:04,533 --> 01:16:07,667 A GOOD TIME FOR ME TO TRY AND COOK A MEAL FOR US. 1603 01:16:07,667 --> 01:16:09,633 OKAY, MOM, I'M NOT GUARANTEEING 1604 01:16:09,633 --> 01:16:14,700 THAT THESE EGGS ARE GONNA BE ANY GOOD, BUT I TRIED. 1605 01:16:14,700 --> 01:16:16,667 YOU MIGHT NEED TO ADD SALT TO THEM. 1606 01:16:16,667 --> 01:16:17,733 I DIDN'T ADD A LOT. 1607 01:16:17,733 --> 01:16:20,200 ARE THEY DISGUSTING? 1608 01:16:20,200 --> 01:16:22,700 THEY'RE FINE. 1609 01:16:22,700 --> 01:16:25,967 TALKING TO THE THERAPIST HELPED ME SOME 1610 01:16:25,967 --> 01:16:27,833 BECAUSE I DIDN'T REALIZE HOW DEPRESSED I WAS 1611 01:16:27,833 --> 01:16:29,267 TO LOSE FOOD AS A COMFORT. 1612 01:16:30,233 --> 01:16:34,067 SO, I HAVE TO FIND A WAY TO DEAL WITH HOW I FEEL DIFFERENTLY. 1613 01:16:34,067 --> 01:16:35,600 ** 1614 01:16:35,600 --> 01:16:37,633 THE THERAPIST TOLD ME TO START WRITING 1615 01:16:37,633 --> 01:16:39,633 THESE LITTLE, POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS, 1616 01:16:39,633 --> 01:16:43,200 LIKE LITTLE NOTES TO MYSELF, SO I'VE BEEN DOING THAT. 1617 01:16:43,200 --> 01:16:45,500 ** 1618 01:16:45,500 --> 01:16:47,767 I CAN LOOK AT MY WALL AND REMIND MYSELF 1619 01:16:47,767 --> 01:16:49,367 OF EVERYTHING I SHOULD BE THINKING 1620 01:16:49,367 --> 01:16:52,367 SO I DON'T LOOK FOR COMFORT FROM FOOD. 1621 01:16:52,367 --> 01:16:55,067 I KNOW THERE'S A LOT UNDERNEATH THE SURFACE 1622 01:16:55,067 --> 01:16:56,333 I HAVEN'T DEALT WITH, 1623 01:16:56,333 --> 01:16:59,800 AND I'M GOING TO HAVE TO FIGURE IT OUT. 1624 01:16:59,800 --> 01:17:02,700 I HAVE A LOT OF PAIN WITH MY FATHER 1625 01:17:02,700 --> 01:17:05,667 AND A LOT OF PAIN I'VE CAUSED MY SON. 1626 01:17:05,667 --> 01:17:09,100 AND THEY ARE COMING BACK IN TOWN TO VISIT ME NEXT MONTH, 1627 01:17:09,100 --> 01:17:11,567 AND I'M EXCITED TO SEE THEM. 1628 01:17:11,567 --> 01:17:13,933 I'M GOING TO BE ABLE TO TALK ABOUT A FEW THINGS 1629 01:17:13,933 --> 01:17:16,467 I'VE BEEN WANTING TO FOR A LONG TIME, 1630 01:17:16,467 --> 01:17:18,933 SO THERE'S A LOT TO LOOK FORWARD TO, 1631 01:17:18,933 --> 01:17:20,767 BUT AT THE SAME TIME, 1632 01:17:20,767 --> 01:17:23,667 I KNOW A LOT OF WHAT I HAVE TO DO 1633 01:17:23,667 --> 01:17:23,800 IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY AT ALL. 1634 01:17:30,133 --> 01:17:32,867 ** 1635 01:17:32,867 --> 01:17:35,267 Kirsten: LIFE CAN BE SO HARD AT TIMES, 1636 01:17:35,267 --> 01:17:37,133 YOU DON'T THINK YOU CAN SURVIVE, 1637 01:17:37,133 --> 01:17:39,567 BUT WHEN YOU COME OUT OF THE OTHER END, 1638 01:17:39,567 --> 01:17:42,100 YOU REALIZE YOU'RE FAR STRONGER 1639 01:17:42,100 --> 01:17:45,233 THAN YOU EVER THOUGHT YOU COULD BE. 1640 01:17:46,833 --> 01:17:49,900 ** 1641 01:17:58,400 --> 01:18:00,500 Neiko: ARE YOU READY? 1642 01:18:00,500 --> 01:18:01,767 Kirsten: YES. 1643 01:18:03,300 --> 01:18:05,433 NEIKO AND MY DAD HAVE COME IN FOR A WHILE 1644 01:18:05,433 --> 01:18:07,700 TO STAY WITH ME AND MY MOM, 1645 01:18:07,700 --> 01:18:10,333 AND IT'S BEEN NICE HAVING THEM BACK AROUND. 1646 01:18:10,333 --> 01:18:15,367 ONE OF MY BIGGEST FEARS HAS BEEN NEIKO ENDING UP LIKE ME. 1647 01:18:15,367 --> 01:18:17,700 I'VE MESSED UP SO MUCH OF MY LIFE, 1648 01:18:17,700 --> 01:18:19,467 AND I'M TRYING TO FIX THAT NOW. 1649 01:18:19,467 --> 01:18:23,833 ** 1650 01:18:26,433 --> 01:18:29,200 Neiko: I'M GLAD THAT YOU WALKED THIS FAR, MOM. 1651 01:18:29,200 --> 01:18:31,533 YOU'VE REALLY CHANGED A LOT SINCE I'VE LEFT, 1652 01:18:31,533 --> 01:18:33,433 LIKE YOUR FACE LOOKS SKINNIER. 1653 01:18:33,433 --> 01:18:35,133 I'VE LOST OVER 100 POUNDS. 1654 01:18:35,133 --> 01:18:36,533 OVER 100? 1655 01:18:36,533 --> 01:18:38,200 I DIDN'T KNOW YOU LOST THAT MUCH. 1656 01:18:38,200 --> 01:18:39,200 YEAH. 1657 01:18:39,200 --> 01:18:40,700 THAT'S GOOD. 1658 01:18:40,700 --> 01:18:44,200 YOU KNOW, THIS WHOLE EXPERIENCE 1659 01:18:44,200 --> 01:18:46,400 HAS REALLY GOT TO ME 1660 01:18:46,400 --> 01:18:49,067 ABOUT HOW I MISSED OUT ON EVERYTHING 1661 01:18:49,067 --> 01:18:51,267 WHEN YOU GUYS WERE GROWING UP, 1662 01:18:51,267 --> 01:18:54,767 AND I LET GRANDMA AND GRANDPA BASICALLY TAKE CARE OF YOU GUYS. 1663 01:18:54,767 --> 01:18:58,400 AND I DON'T WANT YOU GOING DOWN THE SAME ROAD AS I DID 1664 01:18:58,400 --> 01:19:00,667 BECAUSE LOOK WHERE IT GOT ME. 1665 01:19:00,667 --> 01:19:01,733 YOU KNOW, LIKE... 1666 01:19:01,733 --> 01:19:03,333 YEAH. ...I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING, 1667 01:19:03,333 --> 01:19:05,567 AND I'M STILL LIVING WITH GRANDMA AND GRANDPA. 1668 01:19:05,567 --> 01:19:07,900 AND YOU DON'T WANT THAT. 1669 01:19:07,900 --> 01:19:09,567 I MISSED OUT ON EVERYTHING, 1670 01:19:09,567 --> 01:19:11,300 AND I FEEL BAD ABOUT ALL OF THAT, YOU KNOW. 1671 01:19:11,300 --> 01:19:12,333 BUT I CAN'T CHANGE IT NOW. 1672 01:19:12,333 --> 01:19:14,067 I CAN ONLY TRY TO GET BETTER. 1673 01:19:14,067 --> 01:19:16,567 I GUESS IT TOOK ME WAY TOO LONG TO GROW UP. 1674 01:19:16,567 --> 01:19:17,800 [ INHALES DEEPLY ] 1675 01:19:17,800 --> 01:19:20,467 I'M HAPPY THAT YOU'RE GETTING HEALTHIER. 1676 01:19:20,467 --> 01:19:24,067 WELL, I JUST DIDN'T WANT YOU TO HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF ME, 1677 01:19:24,067 --> 01:19:26,067 BECAUSE I KNOW THAT GRANDMA'S NOT GOING TO BE AROUND FOREVER, 1678 01:19:26,067 --> 01:19:28,967 AND I WAS GETTING, YOU KNOW, 1679 01:19:28,967 --> 01:19:30,667 TO THE POINT WHERE I COULDN'T BARELY DO ANYTHING FOR MYSELF, 1680 01:19:30,667 --> 01:19:34,067 SO SOMETHING HAD TO BE DONE. 1681 01:19:34,067 --> 01:19:35,533 I LOVE YOU, 1682 01:19:35,533 --> 01:19:37,367 AND I WANT US BOTH TO HAVE GOOD LIVES. 1683 01:19:37,367 --> 01:19:39,500 GIVE ME A HUG. 1684 01:19:39,500 --> 01:19:40,567 I LOVE YOU. 1685 01:19:40,567 --> 01:19:42,067 I LOVE YOU, TOO. 1686 01:19:43,233 --> 01:19:45,567 I LOVE NEIKO, 1687 01:19:45,567 --> 01:19:49,633 AND I KNOW I HAVE A LOT TO MAKE UP FOR. 1688 01:19:49,633 --> 01:19:53,567 I WANT TO DO EVERYTHING I CAN TO REPAIR OUR RELATIONSHIP 1689 01:19:53,567 --> 01:19:56,300 AND TO BE THE BEST MOM I CAN TO HIM. 1690 01:19:56,300 --> 01:19:58,700 AND THAT'S WHAT I'M TRYING TO DO RIGHT NOW. 1691 01:19:58,700 --> 01:20:01,633 ** 1692 01:20:09,833 --> 01:20:11,767 TODAY, I'M GOING TO THE GROCERY STORE, 1693 01:20:11,767 --> 01:20:13,233 AND I'M GOING TO GO BY MYSELF. 1694 01:20:13,233 --> 01:20:15,233 ** 1695 01:20:15,233 --> 01:20:17,567 I'M DOING MORE AND MORE ON MY OWN. 1696 01:20:17,567 --> 01:20:19,133 ** 1697 01:20:19,133 --> 01:20:23,467 AND IT'S SCARY, BUT IT FEELS GOOD. 1698 01:20:23,467 --> 01:20:24,800 ** 1699 01:20:24,800 --> 01:20:27,300 I AM TRYING TO EAT HEALTHY. 1700 01:20:27,300 --> 01:20:33,300 I AM LOOKING AT THE PROTEIN IN FOOD AND THE FAT CONTENT. 1701 01:20:33,300 --> 01:20:35,167 THERE'S LOTS OF THINGS IN THERE THAT WERE LIKE, 1702 01:20:35,167 --> 01:20:37,433 "OH, IF I WASN'T ON A DIET, LIKE, I WOULD BE EATING THAT," 1703 01:20:37,433 --> 01:20:40,067 BUT I CAN'T EAT THOSE FOODS ANYMORE. 1704 01:20:40,067 --> 01:20:42,900 AND I DON'T EVEN REALLY WANT TO. 1705 01:20:42,900 --> 01:20:44,600 HERE YOU GO. THANK YOU. HAVE A GOOD EVENING. 1706 01:20:44,600 --> 01:20:47,600 SO, IT WAS EXCITING GETTING OUT ON MY OWN. 1707 01:20:47,600 --> 01:20:49,567 ** 1708 01:20:49,567 --> 01:20:53,400 PART OF ME CAN'T BELIEVE EVERYTHING I'M ABLE TO DO NOW. 1709 01:20:53,400 --> 01:20:56,000 I'M JUST GONNA KEEP PUSHING MYSELF 1710 01:20:56,000 --> 01:20:58,967 AND TRY TO DO MORE AND MORE. 1711 01:20:58,967 --> 01:21:01,067 ** 1712 01:21:02,067 --> 01:21:04,900 I WAS FINALLY ABLE TO MAKE A MEAL FOR MY WHOLE FAMILY. 1713 01:21:04,900 --> 01:21:07,333 ** 1714 01:21:07,333 --> 01:21:10,900 I'VE BEEN WANTING TO DO THAT FOR THE PAST FEW MONTHS. 1715 01:21:10,900 --> 01:21:12,433 THANKS, KIRSTEN. 1716 01:21:12,433 --> 01:21:13,600 YOU'RE WELCOME. 1717 01:21:13,600 --> 01:21:15,967 THEY'VE DONE SO MUCH FOR ME, 1718 01:21:15,967 --> 01:21:20,633 I JUST WANT TO START GIVING A LITTLE BACK HOWEVER I CAN. 1719 01:21:20,633 --> 01:21:23,067 Cris: I'M PROUD OF THE CHANGES KIRSTEN'S MAKING. 1720 01:21:23,067 --> 01:21:25,433 I THINK SHE'S DOING REALLY WELL. 1721 01:21:25,433 --> 01:21:26,967 SHE USED TO EAT A LOT OF JUNK FOOD. 1722 01:21:26,967 --> 01:21:30,933 NOW SHE'S EATING A HEALTHY DIET, SO IT'S A BIG CHANGE. 1723 01:21:30,933 --> 01:21:33,267 THANKS, KIRSTEN. DINNER WAS GOOD. 1724 01:21:33,267 --> 01:21:34,933 YOU'RE WELCOME. YEAH. 1725 01:21:34,933 --> 01:21:36,367 I ATE TOO MUCH. 1726 01:21:36,367 --> 01:21:39,900 I'VE BEEN GOING TO THERAPY AND DEALING WITH MORE OF HOW I FEEL. 1727 01:21:41,367 --> 01:21:44,300 I TALKED TO MY DAD ABOUT SOME THINGS, TOO. 1728 01:21:45,367 --> 01:21:48,867 IT'S NEVER EASY, BUT I'M GLAD WE TALKED. 1729 01:21:48,867 --> 01:21:50,300 Kirsten: WELL, I HOPE THAT YOU KNOW 1730 01:21:50,300 --> 01:21:52,533 THAT I'M SERIOUS ABOUT BETTERING MYSELF NOW. 1731 01:21:52,533 --> 01:21:54,200 I'M WORKING REALLY HARD AT IT, 1732 01:21:54,200 --> 01:21:56,900 AND I DON'T WANT TO LET EVERYBODY DOWN. 1733 01:21:56,900 --> 01:21:59,100 I WANT TO ACTUALLY SUCCEED. 1734 01:21:59,100 --> 01:22:01,133 AND I THINK YOU'VE SHOWN THAT SO FAR, 1735 01:22:01,133 --> 01:22:04,433 THAT YOU DO PLAN ON BEING SUCCESSFUL, 1736 01:22:04,433 --> 01:22:07,067 AND WE WANT YOU TO GET BETTER. 1737 01:22:07,067 --> 01:22:09,500 Kurt: WHEN THIS JOURNEY STARTED WITH KIRSTEN, 1738 01:22:09,500 --> 01:22:11,467 I REALLY DIDN'T EXPECT HER 1739 01:22:11,467 --> 01:22:13,533 TO DO NEAR AS WELL AS SHE HAS DONE WITH IT. 1740 01:22:13,533 --> 01:22:16,167 IN THE LAST 15 YEARS, IT'S PROBABLY THE FIRST TIME 1741 01:22:16,167 --> 01:22:18,467 I'VE EVER BEEN ABLE TO SAY, "HEY, GOOD JOB. 1742 01:22:18,467 --> 01:22:21,167 YOU'RE ACCOMPLISHING WHAT YOU'RE SETTING OUT TO DO." 1743 01:22:21,167 --> 01:22:24,467 I'M VERY PROUD OF THE JOB YOU'VE DONE 1744 01:22:24,467 --> 01:22:26,333 SINCE YOU'VE BEEN DOWN HERE, 1745 01:22:26,333 --> 01:22:29,400 STICKING TO YOUR DIET AND DOING WHAT YOU NEED TO DO. 1746 01:22:29,400 --> 01:22:32,667 WELL, IT MAKES ME FEEL REALLY GOOD TO HEAR YOU SAY THAT. 1747 01:22:32,667 --> 01:22:34,067 I'M TRYING REALLY HARD. 1748 01:22:34,067 --> 01:22:35,733 I KNOW YOU ARE. 1749 01:22:35,733 --> 01:22:37,600 SO, JUST KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK. 1750 01:22:37,600 --> 01:22:39,400 IF I COME BACK BEFORE AUGUST, 1751 01:22:39,400 --> 01:22:42,667 I EXPECT TO SEE YOU OUT JOGGING AROUND THE APARTMENT COMPLEX. 1752 01:22:42,667 --> 01:22:45,067 IT'LL BE TOO HOT IN AUGUST TO JOG ANYWHERE. 1753 01:22:45,067 --> 01:22:46,467 [ LAUGHS ] THAT'S TRUE. 1754 01:22:46,467 --> 01:22:47,467 IT WOULD BE HERE. 1755 01:22:47,467 --> 01:22:48,800 [ LAUGHS ] 1756 01:22:48,800 --> 01:22:51,333 ** 1757 01:22:54,533 --> 01:22:57,667 ** 1758 01:22:58,700 --> 01:23:01,533 Kirsten: I KNOW THAT NOTHING WITH ME OR WITH MY FAMILY 1759 01:23:01,533 --> 01:23:03,100 IS GOING TO BE FIXED OVERNIGHT 1760 01:23:03,100 --> 01:23:05,100 AND THAT IT'S GOING TO BE A PROCESS. 1761 01:23:05,100 --> 01:23:06,467 ** 1762 01:23:06,467 --> 01:23:09,600 SO, I'VE BEEN PUSHING MYSELF AS HARD AS I CAN NOW, 1763 01:23:09,600 --> 01:23:13,067 AND I KNOW I HAVE TO BE DOING WELL. 1764 01:23:13,067 --> 01:23:15,367 ** 1765 01:23:15,367 --> 01:23:17,633 [ CRIS GASPS ] 1766 01:23:17,633 --> 01:23:19,200 YES. GREAT. WOW. 1767 01:23:19,200 --> 01:23:22,467 I THINK THAT DOC IS GOING TO BE HAPPY ABOUT MY PROGRESS. 1768 01:23:22,467 --> 01:23:23,733 [ KNOCK ON DOOR ] 1769 01:23:23,733 --> 01:23:25,233 Dr. Nowzaradan: HELLO. 1770 01:23:25,233 --> 01:23:28,067 TODAY, YOU ARE DOWN TO 442 POUNDS. 1771 01:23:28,067 --> 01:23:29,700 HOW DO YOU FEEL WITH THAT? 1772 01:23:29,700 --> 01:23:31,267 I'M FEELING REALLY GOOD. 1773 01:23:31,267 --> 01:23:33,733 THAT'S GREAT. I'M PROUD OF YOU. 1774 01:23:33,733 --> 01:23:37,800 I'M HAPPY WITH THE PROGRESS KIRSTEN IS MAKING RIGHT NOW. 1775 01:23:37,800 --> 01:23:42,467 I THINK AT SOME POINT, SHE MAY NEED TO HAVE FULL BYPASS, 1776 01:23:42,467 --> 01:23:46,200 BUT NOT UNTIL SHE DEALS WITH MORE OF HER EMOTIONAL ISSUES 1777 01:23:46,200 --> 01:23:49,233 AND ONLY IF SHE KEEPS MAKING PROGRESS. 1778 01:23:49,233 --> 01:23:53,500 BUT I'M OPTIMISTIC ABOUT HER LONG-TERM SUCCESS RIGHT NOW. 1779 01:23:53,500 --> 01:23:55,767 YOUR GOAL WEIGHT IS GOING TO BE 200 POUNDS, 1780 01:23:55,767 --> 01:23:58,933 AND I EXPECT THAT WE'RE GOING TO GET THERE IN A YEAR, OKAY? 1781 01:23:58,933 --> 01:24:00,300 OKAY. 1782 01:24:00,300 --> 01:24:02,233 KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK, AND I'LL SEE YOU NEXT MONTH. 1783 01:24:02,233 --> 01:24:03,500 OKAY. CAN I GIVE YOU A HUG? 1784 01:24:03,500 --> 01:24:06,333 THANK YOU. I REALLY APPRECIATE IT. 1785 01:24:06,333 --> 01:24:07,767 OH, YOU'RE WELCOME. YOU'RE WELCOME. 1786 01:24:07,767 --> 01:24:10,533 BYE. 1787 01:24:11,500 --> 01:24:13,900 I WANTED TO COME HERE AND KICK ASS 1788 01:24:13,900 --> 01:24:16,567 AND MAKE MYSELF FEEL GOOD ABOUT MYSELF FOR ONCE. 1789 01:24:16,567 --> 01:24:18,967 I'VE DONE THAT. 1790 01:24:20,067 --> 01:24:22,067 THIS IS THE ONE TIME THAT I CAN SHOW MY WHOLE FAMILY 1791 01:24:22,067 --> 01:24:24,133 THAT I WAS GOING TO DO WHAT I SAID I WAS GOING TO DO. 1792 01:24:24,133 --> 01:24:25,633 ** 1793 01:24:25,633 --> 01:24:27,067 AND I SURE IN THE HELL 1794 01:24:27,067 --> 01:24:31,800 DON'T EVER WANT TO BE CLOSE TO 600 POUNDS AGAIN...EVER. 1795 01:24:33,100 --> 01:24:36,467 ** 1796 01:24:37,900 --> 01:24:39,500 Cris: THIS SHOULD BE FUN. 1797 01:24:39,500 --> 01:24:41,833 I WONDER HOW BIG OF CROCODILES THEY HAVE. 1798 01:24:41,833 --> 01:24:44,067 [ LAUGHTER ] 1799 01:24:44,067 --> 01:24:46,767 WE'VE BEEN TRYING TO DO MORE AS A FAMILY. 1800 01:24:46,767 --> 01:24:48,633 I NEVER REALLY GOT TO SPEND ANY TIME WITH THEM 1801 01:24:48,633 --> 01:24:50,133 UNLESS THEY WERE TAKING CARE OF ME. 1802 01:24:50,133 --> 01:24:51,733 ** 1803 01:24:51,733 --> 01:24:54,267 AND NOW WE CAN JUST TRY TO ENJOY GOING OUT 1804 01:24:54,267 --> 01:24:55,633 AND DOING SOMETHING FUN. 1805 01:24:55,633 --> 01:24:57,800 THESE THINGS ARE HUMONGOUS. 1806 01:24:58,967 --> 01:25:00,967 Kirsten: MY LIFE HAS GONE TO SOME DARK PLACES, 1807 01:25:00,967 --> 01:25:04,467 AND I FINALLY FEEL LIKE IT'S STARTING TO BRIGHTEN UP. 1808 01:25:05,567 --> 01:25:06,633 WHOA! 1809 01:25:06,633 --> 01:25:08,233 Neiko: I THINK TODAY WAS A GOOD DAY, 1810 01:25:08,233 --> 01:25:11,533 AND I THINK WE NEED TO GO OUT AND DO MORE THINGS LIKE THIS. 1811 01:25:11,533 --> 01:25:14,067 AND IT'LL MAKE THE FAMILY A BETTER FAMILY. 1812 01:25:14,067 --> 01:25:16,733 Cris: HE'S GIVING YOU THE EYE. 1813 01:25:16,733 --> 01:25:19,333 Kirsten: I'M THANKFUL AND EXCITED ABOUT THE FUTURE, 1814 01:25:19,333 --> 01:25:22,767 SO I'M GOING TO WORK HARD AND MAKE THE MOST OUT OF EVERY DAY 1815 01:25:22,767 --> 01:25:24,167 SO I CAN BE THE PERSON, 1816 01:25:24,167 --> 01:25:27,800 THE MOTHER, AND THE DAUGHTER THAT I WANT TO BE. 1817 01:25:27,800 --> 01:25:31,200 I CAN'T WAIT TO KEEP DISCOVERING MORE OF WHO I AM 1818 01:25:31,200 --> 01:25:32,600 AND HOW VALUABLE THAT PERSON IS.